Mind Over Fatter

Dreadmill now a Deadmill?

2011-01-12T19:17:00.000-08:00

Oh no, I may have broken my treadmill, I know some of you are gasping and some are cheering. Most of us treadmill users use it not because it is fun but it is a great workout when you can do circuits, running in the winter, use weights, etc. We make the best of our minimal options in the dead of winter.

Well tonight I was running, yes finally running and it stopped on me after 15 minutes. It appeared to have overheated. I let it cool down and then went for another 10 and it stopped again and the circuit was tripped. Now after letting it cool off the treadmill itself won't budge - the power is on but no motion :(....

I hope I don't have to replace it as I don't have the money but I may have to. I CANNOT live without one. I may be looking for suggestions from my fellow bloggers on models, etc.

I managed to get an hour workout in and feel great today. My weight is unchanged but I expect that after my indulges over the holidays. I only gained a few pounds which doesn't worry me but I know I screwed up my metabolism > this will take a while to get revved back up. I'm not discouraged, I know the routine and I am committed. Feel better now that the eating is back in check, no wine and moving. Not sure why I indulged but I guess I am human, when in a crowd and in a special setting I wanted to be able to eat some of the not so healthy yet yummy foods and have drinks.... I am human. The key is getting back on track which I believe I am...

So say a prayer for my treadmill please, the ex will look at it tomorrow and I may have to get a major tune up on it .... or bury it.

Be happy,

G

Biggest Loser

2011-01-11T19:03:00.000-08:00

Just finished my workout for the evening. An hour at kick boxing and another 45 minutes on the dreadmill. I am finding it a bit of a challenge getting back into the groove but it's coming. One of the things I know I need to watch is any slack off the exercise program. If I take more than a day off I find it very hard to get motivated again. For me I had a few days in a row during the holidays where there was no exercising so I am paying the price now - have to find my groove!

I am happy though that I stuck it out tonight. When I got home my mind was wandering and thinking about all the reasons why I couldn't work out more - I need to make a lasagna, I need to do wash, I could go to bed, I could just relax, etc.

But I put on my Biggest Loser and away I went. Now I am feeling great!

What a season this may end up being. There are some bit people on this series that have a lot of weight to lose; I am very anxious to see how they will do. The first lady who went home last week had very impressive results at home.

Food is going OK now, as expected this is also a challenge to get back into ut not as much as the exercise for me.

Hope you're all doing well and are committed. Don't give up, never quit. If you fall off the horse, just get right back on - it's the journey that counts!

Be happy,

G

First step towards a goal this year

2011-01-07T17:19:00.000-08:00

Well I signed up for the 10K race at the end of May. The 28th in fact. When I got to work yesterday the project manager I am working asked me if I made any resolutions and I said no. I don't like resolutions. Then she mentioned she had set some goals which made me think, "I have goals". She mentioned she sighed up for the 10K and I said that was one of my goals so she said, "quick sign up now as it is always sold out" so I did!

I feel good about it. I plan to be at my goal weight which will help my running and I am going to work out my training plan this weekend. I plan to mix running on the treadmill with my power walking program this winter, continue with my biggest loser workouts and of course, kick boxing. Hopefully by end of March I can be running outside, I can't wait for my power walks and now running outside! My plantar fasciatis is better but not completely gone - this will be the only wild card but I am keeping positive.

I also say a program called the 60 day challenge which is advanced kick boxing at a martial arts gym - it's an excellent price and includes a free lesson, nutrition consultation, gloves, and as many classes that I want to attend. It would only be my free weekends since I am already going to my cardio kick boxing but it would mix things up a bit for sure. I'll decide next week.

So for the weekend, I have planning to do for my running program, shopping with my mom-in-law, de-decorating and paying bills - sounds like a ton of fun? Well I have to admit I am exhausted from the Christmas holidays. It hit me hard come Wednesday just how tired I was so a quieter weekend is just what I need. I am looking forward to sleeping in!!!

Have a great night and be happy...

G

A Healthy Heart

2011-01-06T04:20:00.000-08:00

So now that it is 2011, I wanted to set a new challenge so I thought for a while and came up with my drive to .... "a healthy heart" and the deadline is, wait for it... Valentine's Day! Why you ask?

I want to focus on different aspects of a healthy heart. The obvious one is the physical body - the need to lose more excess weight, eat right, regular exercise and so on. The other aspect is the mind and spirit - the thinking right, being positive, focusing on the good things in life, giving back and so on. These will continue to enrich me and my life and allow me to achieve and give more enjoyment. The link with "Valentine's day" is to also use these goals as a means of finding a soulmate, a companion who I can enjoy each and every day with. I am ready for this, the baggage from the past has been unpacked and put away and I am a much more confident and happy person. Here are my goals for Feb 14th:

CHALLENGE #6

My Healthy Heart Challenge

My Healthy Heart Challenge
1. Lose 55 pounds in total by Feb 14th
2. Reconnect with Blogging
3. Develop a game plan to get out more to meet new people.

I didn't put "find a guy" as my goal for Feb 14th as that seems to unrealistic; I did commit to the need to have a game plan for getting involved with new activities, etc that will allow me to meet more people and then, this should open up new doors for finding "him".

What do you think? Would love to hear your comments and also any other ideas for challenges in 2011!

Have a great day and be happy...

G

2011 - A New Year, A New Decade

2011-01-04T06:48:00.000-08:00

Well I am back at it. I'm finished my holidays and back to the "routine" of real life.

Out of 10 I would say my holiday was a 7, the highs included:
- hosting my niece and her husband from Texas for almost 2 weeks. They are a lot of fun to be with, help out tremendously and we are able to share real quality time together
- hosting Christmas eve for one half of my family which was made more special with the little kids that were here.
- hosting Christmas dinner for the other half of my family which was great however there was a dark cloud hanging over the event (see the lows)
- indulging in some excellent food and wine, yes I did and I am not regretting it (well maybe a little)
- giving and receiving some very nice gifts including a beautiful necklace and pair of earrings from son #2 (he was so proud of picking these out) and a GPS from son #1.

The lows included:
- my dear brother-in-law has to contend with a terminally ill mother who passed away Dec 28th. This was the dark cloud that overshadowed a lot of the holidays as there has been many years of family hatred and ugliness between the siblings in his family (and extending into my sister's family). So a major focus for us was to be there for them in whatever way we could to support them through this difficult time.
- dealing with sick people, mostly getting over colds, nothing too serious but a downer at times
- not being able to relax enough but this is usually always the case during the "holidays"
- not drinking enough water and working out to the same intensity that I had been, I can blame it on time and other distractions but I ultimately regret not making the time.

I gained some pounds, ok I will fess up - I gained 6 pounds but I know a good deal of it is water. I feel a little less toned but the workouts have started and so has the eating plan. I am stoked for 2011.

I am committed to my ultimate goal of being in my ideal weight range of 127-150 lbs by my 52nd birthday. I see this as very achievable and I am excited at the prospect. I felt fantastic over the holidays for the most part due to the weight I had lost last year and the level of fitness I was at. I want to continue to bask in that glory.

The 1st decade of the 2000's is done and I am glad it is. Those 10 years were for the most part very painful. That being said I am so thankful to how it ended and who I am at this time - I am a better and bigger (in spirit!) person than before. I have grown older but wiser as well.

I hope the next decade is more rewarding and I am looking for strength to be the best I can be and work hard to get the things I deserve out of life...

I know I have to have the right attitude each and every day to make the right choices;
to not run away from the hard stuff but confront it head on;
to push myself to be positive and look for the best from myself and in others;
to be forgiving and understanding of those around me;
to not take things that happen to me or around me personally, shit happens to all of us...

I wish you all the best and hope you too reach the most out of life...

Be happy,

Glenda

Merry Christmas All!

2010-12-25T05:47:00.000-08:00

Having a great time with family and friends and hoping you all are too! I have my company here from Texas and we had a Christmas Eve celebration with one side of the family yesterday! Today is turkey dinner with the trimmings at my Mom-n-laws place and some relaxing time I hope.

Down the 44 pounds and extremely happy with that! I know maintaining over the holiday will be my goal because I intend to enjoy myself. Need to keep up the workouts and get outside for walks, toboganing and skating!

Merry Christmas and god bless you all!!!

Glenda

Still Kicking

2010-12-17T20:01:00.000-08:00

Not been on the blog for a while but things are going well. It's so busy with Christmas, work activities and helping nurse sick kids. Oh well, keeping my wits about me and focusing on what I need to do to take of myself too.

I'm losing weight at a rate that I am happy with, now down 43 pounds. I'm over my half way mark and going pretty strong. I have indulged in some pleasures food wise but with very modest portions which I am proud of. I am not depriving myself of the joys of the season but know I have to take it in very small doses. I am working out regularly which burns off the calories and is keeping my metabolism revved up.

I'm really looking forward to Christmas this year as I am having company from Texas (yes, folks from the warm south do travel to the frosty north this time of year!) and I am hosting Christmas Eve, Boxing day and a New Year's Eve party! We are also going to a NHL game and to see the Trans Siberian Orchestra.

I'm looking forward to very clothes that I feel so much more confident in and my selection has grown a lot since I fit into some of the things I haven't worn in years. I will do a full update of my photos, stats and other things over the holidays. I have two weeks off and am very happy with that I'll tell you. The consulting job is going extremely well and it looks promising that I will be there longer - good money, great experience and a wonderful group of people to work with! I feel blessed on so many fronts!!!

Hope all is well with all of you and your revved up to!

Be happy!

Progress To Goal

2010-12-08T16:49:00.000-08:00

I caught up with updating my journey page last night. I've mentioned, I keep a detailed journal of my weight, food log including calories, fat, carbs, protien, fibre; an exercise log and my measurements. I developed my own program using Excel so I can chart these things and graph key stats > I know I am a numbers geek.

So 40 pounds lost so far but here are my other key stats with respect to other goals I have made for my 8 months hike...

Total Workout Minutes
Goal - 12,703 minutes of exercise, 60 min minimum, 6 days a week
6320 completed (50%)

I appear to be ahead of the game here. We'll see where I land in January and I can adjust my goal accordingly
Total Inches Lost * (wkly progress)
Start vs Now...

I am so pleased with my waist change and abdomen, not to shabby (or flabby) in the thighs either!

This is an interesting chart. I made up some pretty arbitrary goals for my measurements for different areas of my body. Overall 34" lost and another 18 3/4" to go > this will be a challenge for sure but I am sticking to the plan.

Christmas village ready for set up, now time for a workout!

Onward and forward I go...

Backhanded Compliment?

2010-12-07T19:11:00.001-08:00

So I was talking to my ex tonight cause he comes over two nights a week to spend the evening with number 2 son. He looked at me and here's how the conversation went...

He said "your doing really well, how much have you lost?"

I said, "40 lbs" with a big grin

He said "wow that's great, how long has it been?"

I said "since Sept 20, about 12 weeks"

He said, "that's fast maybe too fast"

Then he said " well the hard part will be keeping it off"

Now is that a backhanded compliment? Not sure but I sure felt like backhanding him! I know that will be the tough part, I know because of how many roller coasters I've been on before. I know it is the biggest risk but I don't think it will be the toughest part. The tough part will be staying commited to a proper nutritious eating plan, controlling my alcohol intake and staying active. That is the only way I will, or any of us, will maintain our weight in a healthy range.

I kept my cool, I packed up my stuff for kick boxing and left saying a fond farewell to both! In the car I had to chuckle, here he is struggling to lose some extra weight but he is eating Lean Cuisine's (which I hate and don't believe they are a good nutritious choice) and snacking on crackers and some candies.

So what is the hard part? The way I see it:

The first hard part is making the commitment to change your life, the second is to still with a plan while you change and the third is to live with the plan forever. I'm in the second phase waiting with great excitement for the third!!!

Keep moving and be happy!

Another Milestone!

2010-12-06T16:57:00.000-08:00

So I didn't blog at lunch today, I actually ran out to get a few Christmas presents that were on sale.

Well, I hit the 40 pounds lost mark, I am so excited. When I stepped on the scale this morning I starred at the number for a few seconds longer than normal and did a quiet wooo hooo cause everyone else was sleeping! I got in the shower and hugged myself, I felt so much pride and satisfaction that the hard work is paying off.

This gives me a boost of encouragement to stick to the plan and try my hardest as we come into this difficult time of the year. I know I will have a couple of nights overall where I will let my hair down so to speak but I am learning the important lesson of getting back on the program the next day. This is probably one of the areas where I have definitely failed in the past. I still love the quote...

- if you fall down a stair you don't push yourself down the rest
- if you have a flat tire, you don't take the air out of the rest
- so if you gain a pound or two, you can't throw in the towel and give up

Dont' quite, never give up. I am worth it, you are worth it and the changes that this is and will make on our lives is worth it!

So homework is done, dinner is done, dishes are done, emails are caught up, blog done, now a workout and then beddie bye...

Be Happy,

A BOGGED Blogger

2010-12-05T06:09:00.000-08:00

Wow, I can't believe it's been over a week since I blogged. I'm been mentioning my time management or more accurately just time, has been an issue for me and now with the holiday season approaching, it's worse for sure. I spent extra hours this week decorating (I'm 60% done) and doing more homework with my son and the last thing to suffer has been the blog. I really missed it though so I'm going to try something different.

Now that the visiting consultants have left the office for 6 weeks and I am working with a smaller team, I'm going to get my blog done at lunch.

So I've been doing fairly well this week. My food is under control with the exception of two meals where I was visiting and did not have control on the menu. I think I choose the best foods and ate just a small portion but you know these things, you just never know what others are putting in recipes. I also indulged in a couple glasses of wine at the Grey Cup party last Sunday; the good news is I didn't give into the munchies after this!

My exercise is going well. Kickboxing is still a blast and my home workouts are ... boring but necessary. I'm still going the Shred or BL Bootcamp along with 45-60 minutes on the dreadmill. I am also starting to mix some running with walking on the mill so that is spicing things up a bit > need to keep the body guessing. My journalling is still great, this is one habit I am so glad I have maintained. I enter my foods and nutrition values faithfully along with my exercise and weight progress.

I do have my HOT 100 update, better late than never...

HOT 100 CHALLENGE

Started Sept 23, 2010 and ends Dec 31, 2010 ending in 100 Days in 2010
Goals:
1. Lose 36 pounds, changed to 48! I have lost 39 now, 10 to go in 25 days. Will be a stretch with the celebrating coming up but will give it may all.
2. Workout a total of 5 times a week and go to my Kickboxing classes (counts as 2 a weeks). I am working out 6 days a week, sometimes 7. I know this is the extra kick I need to lose weight. My calories are under control and the exercise helps the pounds melt off.
3. Keep my blogging, my food plan and other stats up to date AND report on Friday's. Booohooo, this is where I have failed I hate to say; but I am recommiting myself to my blogging journal.

So if you haven't heard from me, give me a nudge (thanks Beth!); it may be the thing I need to jolt me back to reality!

Take care and be happy...

Fantastic Friday

2010-11-26T03:36:00.000-08:00

Wow, what a week. Finished the BL challenge as the winner. I still can't believe I beat my original goal of losing 25 pounds by 9. And then this week I have lost 3 more! I am now official NOT Obese, I'm overweight! I'm trying to adjust my daily routine to a more reasonable exercise commitment, staying on my food plan and I want to incorporate more sleep. I cannot believe how much a good night's sleep affects the scale in the morning. I've read about this but had to experience it for myself. I can do the exact same everything except sleep and see a difference of a 1/2 to 1 pound in the morning so I am a believer.

A busy weekend ahead. My grand nephew was born this morning which is exciting so there will be visiting with the family, our monthly family dinner tomorrow night and the Grey Cup Party (the canadian version of the Super Bowl) on Sunday. I am looking forward to each and every activity. I have so much more energy and enthusiasm for life now and I thank the Lord every day for showing me the way.

Hope you have a great weekend. Here are my challenge updates:

HOT 100 CHALLENGE

Started Sept 23, 2010 and ends Dec 31, 2010 ending in 100 Days in 2010
Goals:
1. Lose 36 pounds, changed to 48!
2. Workout a total of 5 times a week and go to my Kickboxing classes (counts as 2 a weeks)
3. Keep my blogging, my food plan and other stats up to date AND report on Friday's

BIGGEST LOSER CHALLENGE

Started Sept 12, 2010 and ends Nov 21, 2010 (10 weigh ins) at my local gym.
Goals:
1. Lose 25 pounds, changed to 36! Lost 35 pounds and won the challenge at the gym!!!
2. Don't quit the challenge - never! Out of 39 poeple who joined, only 14 finished.
3. Attend gym classes regularily. Still going strong

Wednesday Fun

2010-11-24T19:46:00.001-08:00

It's blog hop Wednesday courtesy of Diminishing Lucy

Join the blog hop and check out the list for interesting new bloggers!

SIGHTS ON NEXT CHALLENGE

2010-11-23T19:13:00.000-08:00

I've updated my countdown to focus on the HOT 100, the last weigh in for 2010!

I've also updated my goal because I am 1 pound away from it! I'm targeting to lose another 13 pounds. This may be a stretch but I would rather stretch this goal than my clothes, haha.

So 2 days after the biggest loser challenge end and I am stoked. Winning was so amazing for me and such a validation of all the hard work I put into it. I have refreshed my journal for my food plan, exercise targets and progress charts. I hope to share some of the charts on Friday along with up to date pictures since I have the day off, woohoo!

I've up't my calories to 1100-1200 where I was before the last week of the BL push. I am very comfortable at that level and was losing on avg 3 pounds a weeks with the exercise I was doing. I do know that as I lose more, I will not get the 3 pounds a week but that is fine. I have to be comfortable with my plan because it needs to fit my life for life.

Have a great night, G

NSV's

2010-11-22T19:10:00.000-08:00

Good evening all, finishing up another hectic day and getting ready for bed. I was updating my pages on my blog and came across my NSV's. I updated them but thought I would publish them for you to see. I have been able to strike a few off and am close on others. Some will come once I'm closer to my goal. Here goes:

~~walk down the stairs unassisted i.e. no railings, run up them too!~~
~~get rid of the double chin~~
~~get rid of the chubby face~~
be able to take my gold rings off easily (close but would have to cut my knuckle off)
feel my rib bones standing, not just lying in bed (close, my waist has gone down 7 inches)
~~be able to bend over effortlessly, really bend over!~~
get back to running and run with ease
~~get into my target clothes at each milestone (1st one size 12 jeans)~~
wear size 10 jeans
wear size 8 jeans
~~get rid of all my fat clothes once and for all (not hide them in the garage and then have to go back into them)~~
wear a black evening dress (the slinky kind)
buy a new bathing suit to show off my bod!
see actual definition in my arms
conquer the B:B ratio (boob to belly 2:1 vs 1:3 and belly to butt ratio), more to say on this later
get rid of the butt jiggle (much less junk in the trunk)
~~get rid of the back boobs~~
~~be able to sit and bend over without being stopped by my belly~~
~~be able to bend over and pick up a small piece of paper without sliding one leg to the side to get down around my belly~~
~~be able to bend over and pick up something I dropped first, not waiting for the person beside me to do it!~~
be able to show my face in photos wantingly
see my collarbone! (can feel it but not really see it yet)
shop for any type of clothes I want in any store
feel no pain in my knees and lower back (comes and goes depending on the exercise routine)

What NSV's are you looking forward to?

be happy, G...

I cried this morning; I cried tonight...

2010-11-21T17:59:00.000-08:00

OMG, (oh my goodness), what a weekend.

For those of you following my blog, I have been participating in a biggest loser challenge at my local gym. The act of signing up for this public display and commitment to losing weight and getting healthy was a catalyst for my journey. I signed up a week after the challenge officially started but I didn't care. I just wanted the challenge.

It was a great experience overall but what a weekend. Let me tell you my story...

I have been doing well and as of two weeks ago, I found out I was in the lead of the challenge, this made me very happy indeed. I have stuck to my plan of eating well and exercising and have loved the changes and benefits it has provided to me. When I got the taste of being " a winner " I have to admit I was pumped. I really didn't have many obstacles in my way except for a weekend away shopping. I counted my calories and worked out but while I was away the intense execise suffered. At the end of the second last week I didn't lose any weight which was strange. I worked hard overall and saw the change in the clothes I was wearing but the scale was not budging. I vowed this last week to push HARD. This motivation and the encouraging words from my sister Ricki and Shane really gave me the added incentive to not give up.

I cut back on some calories and worked out twice as hard. All was going well. I lost 3 pounds in 5 days, which is what I wanted to see. Then when I woke up yesterday I had lost 2 more, I was down 35 pounds in total, I was stoked!!! I firmly believe that sleep along with monitoring calories and doing exercise is important so I made a point of going to bed at my normal time but sleeping in. It worked! I was so pumped I tried on my target jeans, the hippy ones in size 12 and ,,,, they fit! I was on cloud nine all day. That being said I stuck to the plan yesterday. I also had to plan for a jewelry party today so I was cleaning like a mad woman. By the time I started my official workout last night I was pooped. I did a biggest loser bootcamp session and the treadmill for 45 min (plus a 45 walk in the afternoon) and I was done, I was so tired I could barely move my legs. I made a decision that even though my sister was here for the night, I wanted to get to bed for a good night sleep in anticipation for a great weigh in today.

I had a terrible sleep. And when I woke up, I had gained 2 pounds! WTF, what's with that, I was stunned!!! I tried to pee more, I tried to poo, I took the dog for a 40 minute walk to get the body functions moving, it didn't work. I cried when I walked, I could not believe after all this work and coming so close I would not win. I dried my tears and sucked it up. I knew the reward was how I had changed but to some so close.

I went in for the weigh in. Then the next blow hit me; I was two pounds higher on the gym scale. WTFF! My scale and the gym scale have been on target the entire challenge. I kept my head high and left the gym but on the drive home cried again. After a lot of self talk, I got myself composed and focused on the weight lose overall and the health benefits. When home I worked on the last preparation for the party and told my story to my son. After a while he said, why don't I go and weigh myself again, maybe the scale was wrong? I weighed myself at home and sure enough I was lower so after two hours of pondering this, I called the gym to ask if I could weigh in again. They said that was fine. I didn't know really what to expect but I knew I needed to do this for myself. I would be really pissed off if I lost for some % that was in the end measured by a pound. I felt if I came in second because of some small number I would not forgive myself. I drove to the gym and asked God for his guidance and support.

I went in and sure enough the scale was 2 pounds different from earlier! The first weigh in was wrong, even the trainer didn't believe it. That was the best for me, I was right, I was proud of myself for calling and going back. It could have been really embarrassing but I had to be satisfied that I had done EVERYTHING I could. I got home and got ready for the party, in my snazzy jeans and felt great.

Then to my surprize, I checked my email after the jewelry party and WOW, I won!!! I WON...
I lost .2 % more than my gym buddy Sheila! Only .2% but that could have worked either way. That could have been me if I didn't listen to others and my gut. I was so happy I cried. What an emotional roller coaster. I know some of you can't relate to this or maybe see my reaction as petty, but for me, it was a real goal to be #1 once in the challenge, for ME. So it's done, I am celebrating with a bowl of carrots and low fat dip. On cloud nine.....

The morals of the story:

- don't give up
- never quit
- believe in yourself
- think positive

Be happy!

Challenge Updates

2010-11-19T19:25:00.000-08:00

Challenge Updates: The biggest loser ends this Sunday, then it's the Hot 100... Will need to find some new challenges, if you have an idea please comment! I need to spice things up...

1. Lose 36 pounds - lost 33 pounds to date, after my weigh in Sunday I will be revising this goal, woohoo!

2. Workout a total of 5 times a week and go to my Kickboxing classes (counts as 2 a week) - Still slogging away, for the most part I love it and look forward to the classes!

3. Keep my blogging, my food plan and other stats up to date AND report on Friday's - no problem with my trackers for food and exercise. Sadly I cannot keep up with blogs, I have to try on weekends but I know I will miss many special messages, it really bothers me... :(

at my local gym

1. Lose 35 pounds (up from 25) - I've lost 33 so far with 2 days to go... it will be a nail biter!

2. Don't quit the challenge - Currently I am neck in neck with Sheila for the lead out of 43 people!

3. Attend gym classes regularly - Love the classes so there's not a chance I will miss it....

Thanks Shane!

2010-11-18T19:26:00.000-08:00

I'm coming down to the wire, 3 more sleeps and I weigh in for the last time for the biggest loser challenge at the gym. I'm excited and nervous. I hope I have broken through my stall cause I've lost 3 this week. I am still tied with Sheila.

It's a fun rivalry but I would really like to win. We are both in the same kick boxing class and our instructor keeps a close eye on us. Sheila didn't attend on Wednesday so Ann took the opportunity to pick on me - she singled me out to the class and encouraged all to encourage me to work out hard, it was fun! Then tonight we were both there. Ann asked us what we are going to eat Sunday night to celebrate - Sheila said Chinese food, I said my normal meal because I am not finished. I think everyone thought I was on drugs. But this is just my first major challenge goal. The next is for the Hot 100 and then my big birthday. I am not settling for less this time. My eye is on the end goal of being at my 20's weight by my birthday. I see so much improvement in me but I also see there are a lot of pounds to come off. The mirror doesn't lie (just wear Lycra shorts and top and you know what I mean, it shows it all).

Now the most important part of my post - I want to give a heap load of thanks to Shane for encouraging me on my last blog to work hard this week. I was feeling really discouraged because of the stall and even though I wasn't going to eat dumb stuff or stop exercising, he said go harder, I have a shot so go for it! I had already changed my plan this week eat less calories (for the week) and exercise more to have a larger calorie deficit. That being said, Shane's push gave me a real boost so thank you, thank you Shane!

Now for sleep, be happy...

Mixed Emotions :o

2010-11-16T18:35:00.000-08:00

Hi all, it's been a few days since my last update. The shopping was a ton of fun. I spent way too much money but got some great bargains and made a major dent on my Christmas list.

I did quite well food wise over the weekend although I found it really tough as we ate in restaurants a few times. I am very grateful for my IPhone so I could connect and check out the calories, fat, etc of the menus. This was a blessing. I found it really hard to get some ideas of what I could have that would be in my allowance but after a lot of digging I did well. I only did a short workout at the gym but as you can expect, we did a fair bit of walking.

I have to say I found it strange trying on clothes. I think I was able to choose size 12 pants for the most part and medium shirts which made me really happy. That being said, I found myself looking in the mirror and seeing a very fat person! I didn't like how I looked in many of the outfits even though the tags say I have down quite a few sizes, I looked like I always did. The feeling didn't last all the time but I noticed it over and over again. I actually felt a little discouraged at times but I had to shake my head and tell myself that it's my brain not catching up with the changes I've made.

I at least got a few things that fit me better and will protect me against pants falling down on the hips (which actually happened when I was doing a presentation - I noticed I was wearing hipsters when in reality, the pants should be sitting on my smaller waist! I'm going to take a few things in on the weekend as they will hold me over until I get to goal.

Now for the wait, I mean weight... I seem to have plateaued as I have been at the same weight for over a week. For the most part I am watching what I am eating and getting exercise but feel somewhat bloated and sluggish. I'm trying to be patient and tell myself it's just the change in routine but as you guys all know, it's frustrating when you don't see any movement on the scale and you're doing all the right things.... All I can tell myself is be patient!!!

My biggest loser competition ends this week so unfortunately the stall has happened at a bad time but it is what it is. I can only do my best and I want to be able to look back and say I did it the right way and gave it everything I had. I am neck and neck with another lady so I think I will come in first or second. I have to be preparing myself for the possible second place as I don't want to have to face it as a major set back in my journey. Send a few good wishes my way if you can spare any... :)

Have a great night and I promise to get back in the blogging mood!

G

Can't sleep

2010-11-13T00:02:00.001-08:00

So I am at the hotel and can't sleep. I was reapply looking forward to getting away and shopping, sleeping but sleep eludes me! Good time to play with my iPhone to get my blog working . This is my first post from my phone.

Shopping and challenge update

2010-11-12T18:50:00.000-08:00

Having a great time, the drive was really nice as the weather at the moment is well above the seasonal average. Has fun shopping tonight but tomorrow is the outlet journey, really looking forward to it.

Challenge Updates:

Doing well for the most part, the biggest "challenge" at the moment is time but managing to pack a lot into each day:

1. Lose 36 pounds - lost 30 pounds to date

2. Workout a total of 5 times a week and go to my Kickboxing classes (counts as 2 a week) - Still slogging away, for the most part I love it and look forward to the classes!

3. Keep my blogging, my food plan and other stats up to date AND report on Friday's - no problem with my trackers for food and exercise however my blog following is a struggle, not enough hours in a day.

at my local gym

1. Lose 25 pounds - I've lost 30 so far which means beat my goal with 9 days to go. I beat the target so I up'd the target to 35 pounds!

2. Don't quit the challenge - Currently I am neck in neck with Sheila for the lead out of 43 people!

3. Attend gym classes regularly - Love the classes so there's not a chance I will miss it....

LMAO

2010-11-12T09:00:00.000-08:00

So I am off for a shopping weekend and won't be able to post but I set this up to send out as a fun Friday message... my friend sent it to me and we added more to the list, what else can you think of?

Words of wisdom

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on the Interstate. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

17. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

18. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch consecutive times and still do not know what time it is.

21. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

22. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. (Ladies.....Quit Laughing.)

Have a great weekend and be happy!!!

Remembrance

2010-11-11T20:02:00.000-08:00

2 thoughts to share on "remembrance":

Today is a touching day where we pay homage to all the men and women who have sacrificed their lives in the line of duty, all the soldiers who have been wounded in action and those that have suffered emotional trauma. They are true heroes and everyone should take more than just 2 minutes to reflect on their decisions and actions and how these have helped mankind.

My son and I talked a lot about this this week and it feels good to share our views and heartfelt emotions on the subject. We watched the cermonies on the local TV channel and there was an excellent program on our talk radio channel where they read letters from soldiers to family members from World War I and II, it was amazing. There is a bill being put forward in our government to make Rememberance Day a national holiday which I whole heartedly agree to. I would love to attend the ceremonies in downtown Ottawa at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. It is great to see it on TV but I want to attend next year.

For me this day has another meaning. It is the day I found out my husband was having an "emotional" affair with my best friend, in 2001. It was a devastating time for me and it took me many years to overcome the pain, anger and betrayal. For many years I cried a lot on this day, actually on the days leading up to this time of year and some days after. Remembrance Day was the day I reflected on my crushed life. The crying and sadness subsided over the years but I have to say this year is the healthiest I have felt in my heart since this all came about. I feel at peace today! No crying, no sadness and I am happy with my life. He was even here today spending time with son #2 and we had a chat when I got home after kick boxing, every thing was a-ok. I have forgiven him and we have a great relationship as ex-partners and parents to our wonderful sons. I can now open my heart to remembering all the good times we shared and what we still have to look forward too. I am very thankful for this and I am very proud of myself for how I have overcome this life challenge.

Forgiveness is a choice and is a very empowering one indeed!!!

Be happy...!

Cha-ching...

2010-11-10T20:20:00.000-08:00

I am excited, going shopping in Syracuse at the outlet mall for the weekend. I'm hoping to get some Christmas shopping done but also looking forward to buying a few things for me!

- a nice pair of size 12 black jeans!

- running shoes to pamper my busy feet

- maybe a new purse (I love purses)

But mostly I get to spend the weekend with my sister and brother-in-law whom I love dearly. We get along so well and laugh a lot. It will be a lot of walking but tons of fun! It's kind of a nice reward for the hard work over the past 2 months, don't you think?

Be happy,

Busy, busy, busy

2010-11-09T19:26:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe where time flies now. I am out of the house about 11-12 hours with the new contract and once home, between domestic "Mom" duties and exercise, the nights are gone. Last weekend was such a treat cause I could have a little (very little mind you) relaxation time.

That being said things are going well. I have no complaints at the moment with respect to my commitment and progress. Each day is a bit easier as I get these good eating healthy ideas embedded in my brain. I am also doing a lot of visualization and positive self talk. I constantly say to myself:

- one bite at a time, one decision at a time
- just do it, don't give up, it's that simple

Generally my mood is great and I like the way I am treating myself and others.

I was able to catch up on some blog reading last night but the result was no post from me and a late night to bed. Can't do that too often when I want to get at least 7 hours sleep a night.

I have to say I was really impressed by so many blogs last night. There was a mixture of inspiration, happy progress updates and in some cases just fun stuff. It was a nice ending to the day so thanks blogging buddies.

Chow for now, be happy!

Down Day

2010-11-07T17:36:00.000-08:00

I told you, even though the time changed I did NOT get an extra hour's sleep, I got another hour added to a hectic day. I am really tired today, not sure why but feel like I am fighting something. Not sure if I will work out tonight. I already did a 3 mile walk and part of it was backwards. I don't remember who suggested this retro walking (I think that's what it's called) but it was a very good workout! My legs can feel it. Shane you should give it a try, walking buddy...

Here's a good article to spice up you're...... walking workout

Be happy...

Saturday Ramblings

2010-11-06T19:44:00.000-07:00

My first week on the consulting job. Thank goodness I knew the project manager and she mentioned she was having lunch brought in for the first week. She asked if I'd like salads and I said YES. I brought some fruit to snack on and yogurt so food wise I did well this week.

I also had a good week of exercise. Unfortunately the outside walks with my dog has suffered because by the time I get home it is dark and there are no street lights on my country road. I have gone to my kick boxing classes, done the Shred a couple of times, treadmill work and today I picked up two more biggest loser exercise DVDs - bootcamp and cardio max. I tried level 1 of bootcamp tonight and really liked it. I want the option of doing different videos to mix things up for my body and my brain.

It's really cool here, going to -6C tonight (or around 24'F I guess) but there is a warm trend coming next week. I'm off to outlet shop in Syracuse next weekend and am excited. I will do as much christmas shopping as I can but I also indulge in a few things for myself. I am really liking picking out clothes now and it's only going to get better from here!

I lost 2 more pounds so am almost at 30 gone - I really can't believe it sometimes. I don't have cravings for bad stuff. Sometimes I am really hungry but my mind immediately dials into what good food I have in the house to have which is a huge change for me. I noticed another NSV for me today, I have a great belt a friend brought me from China and before I started this journey I was on the last notch and the belt cut into my "gut". Today I had to put the belt on the 1st notch and I had room to breathe - I was shocked! BooYah!

Tonight we get an extra hour's sleep - what a load of crap. Most of us will wake up after X hours anyway, it just means we get an extra hour during the day tomorrow which is good anyway. I got lots of housework to do, my workouts, taking son #2 to soccer skills class and dinner with my in-laws. It's going to be busy...

Have a great night and be happy!

P.S. I ordered my bracelet "one bite at a time, one decision at a time" from jen and love it!

Now I am wating for my fitness warrior hoodie from Bobbie and I'll be all set!

Challenge Updates

2010-11-05T17:11:00.000-07:00

Doing well for the most part, the biggest "challenge" at the moment is time but managing to pack a lot into each day:

Syl's October Challenge

- I successfully completed the challenge with 60 minutes of exercise each day plus 21 Shred sessions. Very pleased I pushed myself.

1. Lose 36 pounds - lost 26 pounds to date

2. Workout a total of 5 times a week and go to my Kickboxing classes (counts as 2 a week) - At the moment I am finding a way to do some exercise each day for a minimum of 45 minutes

3. Keep my blogging, my food plan and other stats up to date AND report on Friday's - no problem with my trackers for food and exercise however my blog following is behind and I missed one day to post; I was so tired I really had nothing I could share yesterday

at my local gym

1. Lose 25 pounds - I've lost 26 so far so I beat the target so I up'd the target to 35 pounds!

2. Don't quit the challenge - Currently I am neck in neck with Sheila for the lead out of 43 people!

3. Attend gym classes regularly - Love the classes so there's not a chance I will miss it....

Homework Blues

2010-11-03T20:08:00.000-07:00

Well my days are really exciting at the moment with the new management consulting job. It is with a growing company making medial products. It's a new industry for me to work in so I am learning a lot already! The staff have been terrific so far.

Tonight was busy helping son #2 learning decimal division. He didn't do well on his unit test. He had a few mistakes but lost most marks because he didn't show his work. At first my thoughts were that this pisses me off as he is really good at math in his head but too lazy to write down his calculations. But after Mom laid down the law regarding homework and study time, he came to me practically crying and admitting he did not understand how to write out his answers. We did lots of examples together, then he did many on his own and tomorrow he has to show his teacher his work to make sure he is doing it well. When he gets his test back he has to do it all over as a practice test - this isn't a request from his teacher but an order from Mom. I also have a better idea of how I am going to check his work more regularly from now on.

So that being said, I only got have a workout in tonight. That's cool though, the parental stuff comes first!

Eating great, feeling great, but now gotta get some sleep.

Be happy...

Biggest Loser and a Positive Sign ?

2010-11-02T19:02:00.000-07:00

Booyah, had a great weigh in on Sunday where I lost 7 lbs in two weeks, 3.56% of my weight and I won the weekly challenge. A few people at the class tonight thought I may be losing too fast but I feel great, had a physical today and all is well, and like I said way back in my A HA moment post, I am doing the math...

I have taking to logging information like a religion. I count every calorie and note it in an excel file, I have a tally for every day counting calories, fat, sodium, sugar, fibre, protein and carbs. I then log all my exercise and calories burned. I can predict pretty well what I should be losing based on this information. Part of this experiment is to show me how the input calories vs output can be modified to control weight once I reach mu goal.

Referring back to the post I calculated how many pounds I could expect to lose assuming stress is controlled, sleep is good.....

BMR = 1595 (just insert your stats into the BMI calculator)
Activity level selected = 1.55 I'll use 3-5 moderate exercise sessions per week
Calories per day to maintain my current weight (BMR*activity level) = 2472calories
Current calorie target per day = 1200 calories
Calories deficit per day (2472 - 1200) = 1272
Estimated pounds loss / week = 2.5 ((2472*7) - (1200*7)) / 3500 = 2.5

So I could expect a 2.5 lose however I have up'd my exercise to 6 workouts a week, with 4 of these being pretty intense (at least for me). All this reassures me I am on a sound plan.

Now for the positive sign. I don't want to jinx this but I am excited!!!. I had dinner at my son's on the weekend. He has quite a bit of weight to lose which I have talked about before... feeling the guilt for him having to deal with his parent's issues, etc. Anyway he called me Monday and said how proud he was of me and how great I looked and could I help him... I said YES and had tears in my eyes. I really hope he is serious about this and we can get him on a the right track. I want to show him a couple blogs so he can see what is possible with hard work, determination and a DON'T QUIT OR NEVER GIVE UP attitude...

Be happy...

PS. thank you soooo much to my blogger buddies who gave me sound advice yesterday regarding my post and how best to keep up with blogs. The google reader function is fantastic!!!

Oh My Lord

2010-11-01T19:27:00.000-07:00

OK, do I feel stupid... If you've been following my blog you may have clued into the fact that I am a management consultant. I started my own business about a year ago. I have been "in-between:" contracts since mid Sept until today.

When the last contract was winding down and summer was over, it was a time for serious reflection. I took many a long walks to try and clear my head and get moving. I was feeling very sluggish, my joints hurt bad and I was not sleeping well at all. After a week or so of walking, I was noticing small changes, my feet hurt less along with my knees and I actually felt my legs were a bit firmer.

It was on one of these long reflective walks that I decided this was it. I had had enough of the yo yo dieting and I had to make a fundamental change in my eating habits, food choices, portions, drink water, take my vitamins and exercise.

This was when I joined the biggest loser challenge at my gym and through a strange coincidence would a weight loss blog. Within a few days, I had an eating program, started my blog and commited to the journey of change.
I found lots of blogs I liked and started to follow. I would spend quite of bit of my available time reading blogs, researching information along with home stuff, appointments, etc. Generally I was able to keep up with a daily post which was a goal I had and I tried my hardest to stay on top of all the blogs I followed, which was OK most of the time.

Well how the hell am I going to do this now? I was up at 5:30 and we were out the door by 6:30. We got home at 5:30, dinner, some work emails, dishes, dog walk, son's homework, washing clothes, workout and here it is 10:20, I am justing getting to my blog and I haven't been able to read one today! How do you guys do this? I do not want to lose touch with what is going on but I am feeling very overwhelmed and nervous that I will fall behind... advice please blogger buddies!!! And kudos to you all for being able to do this...

Be happy darn it!!!

Trick or Treat

2010-10-31T17:28:00.000-07:00

Did you get sucker'd in? Did you have any candy? Hopefully not. I was able to abstain and had a pretty good day overall but had some freshly made tortilla chips and homemade salsa today. Very yummy.

Lost one more pound and had a good weigh in for the biggest loser challenge, there is a chance I could win for the week... that would be nice for sure.

Just got home from a very busy day so getting ready for bed and a very early rise for the new job, night, night all... Happy Halloween

Pink Dress Run

2010-10-30T15:19:00.000-07:00

Today I did my 5K pink dress walk/run for Fran and Syl.

Here I am in my pink wear...

I went out and bought pink gloves for $2 yesterday and I knew it was going to be cold. I didn't have a pink "dress" but I dressed pink as much as I could. It was spitting out and I was going to call it off but we continued, my doggie and I. I'm glad we did because now it is snowing outside!

Here are some pics from the excursion today:

2 horses that we visit each day

Cows that Kosmo was tormenting a bit, but they kept following him

The beaver pond

And me finishing the walk...

This is the front of my house

Have a great night and Happy Halloween!

Out with the Old

2010-10-30T06:54:00.000-07:00

A quick update for now, will do another later with updated photos...

I updated my ticker above as I lost the picture. This is me at my goal weight. This was when I was 22. I will get there, another pound down and now 25 gone - BooYah!

I just cleaned out all my pants and suits. All the 16 and 18's are gone, some to go to friends and others I am taking to a consignment store (still have the tags on I sorrily admit). I also found 2 nice suits I fit into now so I don't have to buy anything new for my next contract. I had to post as I am very excited...teehee

Chow for now

P.S. I wonder why my standard salutations to people (Chow and Cheers) seem to reference food or drink? Hmmm something to chew on, I mean stew over....

Updates Anyone?

2010-10-29T19:41:00.000-07:00

Today was my last weekday at home as I start a new management consulting contract on Monday. I spent a good part of today catching up on blogs. Got out for a 3 mile power walk and did the Shred. Tonight I went to dinner with my son and his girlfriend. The both commented that I was looking great! I had a dinner on plan and a little plain popcorn at the movie, the Social Network.

Tomorrow I am here alone. I plan to go through my closet for all the over sized clothes. I set aside 6 pairs of size 16 jeans tonight, they are going to my sister's house. It's kind of scary because when I have lost weight in the past I kept some of the larger clothes - partly because I spend a lot of money on clothes and also because, well you know, when I get fat again! This time there is no going back, the clothes are not staying in the closet or in a box in the garage.

I'm also going to take new progress photos tomorrow and try on my target jeans. I'm down 24 pounds and am feeling great. Some NSV's for me:
- the double chin is virtually gone; my face is not bloated at all
- the fat on my abdomen is down quite a bit, I can see a change when I do my crunches (my inches lost prove it too, along with the size 14 jeans vs 16/18)
- the back boobs (and the side overhang) that used to show when I wore a tight spaghetti shirt is gone
- I can easily bend down and get up, and I can easily get down on the floor and up without the aid of a table or something else sturdy!
More on NSV's tomorrow. Btw, it took me quite a lot of thinking to figure out what NSV stands for!!!
I have a long walk planned for tomorrow, a Shred workout and the dreadmill.

Sunday it is weigh in day, another long walk, another Shred and then off to my son's place to have dinner and greet the trick or treaters...

It's Friday so it's update day...

My fifth update on my challenges and still going strong.

Syl's October Challenge

- Day 29 October and 19 shred completed and 29 consecutive days of exercise for 60min each (minimum excluding Shred); two days it was long walks as I need to rest the arms and shoulders but all is going really well on the exercise front. Am so glad I was able to turn the audio off of the video, Jillian was driving me nuts!

1. Lose 36 pounds - lost another 4 this week for 24 pounds to date,

2. Workout a total of 5 times a week and go to my Kickboxing classes (counts as 2 a week) - done

3. Keep my blogging, my food plan and other stats up to date AND report on Friday's - rockin and rollin along, I LOVE THIS BLOGGING STUFF but man I am finding it hard to stay on top of all the blogs I'm following. I don't want to drop any as each one has something to offer me!

at my local gym

1. Lose 25 pounds - I've lost 24 so far after starting Sep 20 and won one weekly challenge at the gym for highest % loss! I will have to revise this goal to 30 pounds by Nov 21!

2. Don't quit the challenge - Missed a weigh in but going strong!

3. Attend gym classes regularly - done, I am a keener

Fran and Syl virtual run

This will be completed this weekend as promised! And in as much pink garb that I can find.

Oh and Kati at The Great Balancing Act of a 24 Year Old nominated me for The Versatile Blogger award, thank you sooo much! This really perked me up when I was having a down day. I will get the requirements completed this weekend.

Be happy!

Much Done Today

2010-10-28T15:17:00.000-07:00

So yesterday my post was on the downer side as I was feeling overwhelmed with my outstanding list of "things to do". I really appreciated the supportive comments reinforcing my focus on my time needed for exercising, blogging and generally looking after me.

Today I woke sore, I'm not sure why I am still feeling sore in the arms and lower back but I definitely wasn't feeling a lot of work would get done. I had to take the car in for snow tires (yes we do that here or we get stuck too easily; or you have to have a gas guzzling SUV) and I hitched a ride back on my neighbours school bus. I asked to borrow his wheel barrel cause I was thinking I have to do some outside work today. I can't use mine cause it has a f*&king flat tire, so does tractor number one, and tractor number two... as the crap sitting here for the ex.

I picked up the wheel barrel and it was windy today but no rain and +10 at 9:00 so I thought I gotta get to work. Well, I was a work demon. I accomplished the following:
- the raking under 4 trees and dumping them (man those suckers have grown over the years and shed a lot)
- cutting back all the plants and moving the garbage
- the leaf blowing all the random messy stuff off the driveway (have a long one in the country)
- taking down the trampoline
- moving all the outside furniture and ornamental stuff into the shed
- moving the crappy equipment into the shed
- re-stacking the fire wood that will be needed for the winter

I took lots off the list and am feeling like a very accomplished woman. The ex came over the his twice weekly visit with the munchkin and he was shocked I did all this (he actually does a lot of work around here when he can, the problem is he is busy too). Now he can play games instead of working.

Their calling for flurries tomorrow so I got this done just in the nick of time. Now it's off to kick boxing!!!

Be happy, I am today!

Too Much To Do

2010-10-27T18:23:00.000-07:00

I am a list person. I like to stay busy. I don't like messes or clutter. I like things organized. I get distracted fairly easily.

I live in a pretty big house with my 12 year old son. There used to be 4 of us here but son number 1 has moved into the city and the ex, well he was axed. I also live on 5 acres so there lots of work to keep up with in the house and outside.

I strive to have everything on track and in order but I can have a few dozen things on the go at once. So at times I get frazzled, distracted, discouraged. I feel so busy and tired but nothing seems to be getting done (well anything besides the daily grind). Then I get frustrated and snappy. I'm in that kind of a rut at the moment.

I am spending more time for me doing fun stuff like exercising and blogging. That means other stuff is not getting done. I have to remind myself that as priorities go, this is it for the present. The time is now for me to make this change in my life. I need support, which generally I am getting but I also need to tell myself to relax. I have to tell myself it's OK to focus on me, it's OK to let the raking of leaves, the putting away of lawn furniture, the cutting of plants, the housework go for another day. It's OK to tell myself I only have so much time for that stuff and the allotment of time I have planned for exercise cannot be sacrificed. That is what I would have done in the past - missed one workout to do the extra chores, then missed another one, the two days in a row and the slide begins. I can't let this happen this time.

So I am going to bed feeling somewhat OK that I did some extra work today and I had a good workout. Family is fed, homework done, showers, kitchen cleaned, blah, blah, blah...

Be happy, I'm trying to be...

...........

On a happier note here is the latest blog hop, Lucy would like to get 50 this week so join in will ya?

Top 20 Foods

2010-10-27T06:05:00.000-07:00

Kati posted her top 20 foods in her house which I thought was a great idea so here are my, without the pictures...

Great idea, my top items are:
1. protein powder
2. raspberries
3. strawberries
4. bananas
5. ww thin multi grain buns
6. laughing cow light cheese
7. chicken
8. ground lean turkey
9. stewed tomatoes, no salt
10. brocolli
11. peppers
12. onions
14. green salad
15. plain blanched almonds
16. carrots
17. grapes
18. apples
19. sugar free raspberry jam
20. ff rice pudding

These are the mainstays of my plan and so far not tired of it!

What are you're top 20?

All About Me...

2010-10-26T05:06:00.001-07:00

I stole this from SpunkySuzi and she did from Karla, feel free to steal it from me!

1. What time did you get up this morning? 6 am, every weekday because of an early school bus!
2. How do you like your steak? Medium to medium well

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? The A Team with the boys, groan..
4. What is your favorite TV show? Cooking challenges.
5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be??? I'd love to try Hawaii
6. What did you have for breakfast? Protein smoothie is my current favourite.
7. What is your favorite cuisine? Mexican!
8. What foods do you dislike? Sausages
9. Favorite Place to Eat? Good Mexican restaurants.

10. Favorite dressing? Balsamic
11. What kind of vehicle do you drive? Nissan Altima
12. What are your favorite clothes? Jeans and a sexy top
13. What is your favourite number? 7 14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? Always 1/2 full
15. Where would you want to retire? Somewhere warm and on the water
16. Favorite time of day? Late evening
17. Where were you born? Berwick, Nova Scotia
18. What is your favorite sport to watch? The Olympics
19. How many siblings? 5, 3 brothers and 2 sisters
20. Favorite pastime/hobby? Exercising, blogging and reading
22. Bird watcher? no
23. Are you a morning person or a night person? Love nights,,, hate early mornings
24. Do you have any pets? A Dog person, have outlived 6, now have #7
25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? I have a new consulting contract starting next week
26. What did you want to be when you were little? A veterinarian
27. What is your best childhood memory? Christmas time with the family
28. Are you a cat or dog person? DOG, sorry cat people
29. Are you married? Was, not at the moment, open to future possilities
30. Always wear your seat belt? Always
31. Been in a car accident? Nope
32. Any pet peeves? Grouchy people, worrywarts, complainers
33. Favorite Pizza Toppings? Fresh veggies and cheeeeeeese
34. Favorite Flower? Orchids
35. Favorite ice cream? Butter Pecan
36. Favorite fast food restaurant? Subway
37. How many times did you fail your driver's test? Never
38. From whom did you get your last email? A friend
39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? A home decor store
40. Do anything spontaneous lately? Nope
41. Like your job? 50/50
42. Broccoli? Love it
43. What was your favorite vacation? Punta Cana so far, more to come!
44. Last person you went out to dinner with? Son and sister
45. What are you listening to right now? The morning news
46. What is your favorite color? Purple, then pink, then red...
47. How many tattoos do you have? None but would like one
49. What time did you finish this quiz? 8:04pm
50. Coffee Drinker? Yup, but decaf, normally one a day (Timmy’s!)

Chow for now...

Fall From Grace

2010-10-25T16:09:00.000-07:00

Just as the title indicates, I have had a fall from grace. I was having a great weekend. Got a lot of work done around the house that was needed in prep for winter, had a relaxing evening with my sister on Saturday and yesterday hosted a dinner for a friend and her two kids. She is someone I usually socialize with in a group of people but I promised to have them over for a good "meat" dinner. She does not cook meat and the hubby is in Afghanistan. When the kids came in and we settle in for some talk time, they told me how excited they were to have steak!.

I prepared a simple yet yummy meal: BBQ steak, mushrooms and onions, baked potatoes and warm garlic bread. The kids were all excited! While I was getting the food on the table my friend opened red wine and served two glasses, one for her and one for me. I've been doing great lately and I thought why not. I had one glass, then two. Dinner was fine for me, I had a small serving of steak, veggies and made a small sweet potatoe (no bread for me). Then we retired to the family room and I had another glass of wine.

Now the regretful part of the evening was that I had the wine but at this stage I hadn't gone over my calories. I also worked out really hard so I didn't get too down on myself. My company left, son now is bed and I get the ... dreaded munchies. With the wine consumed my will power was non existent. I had some snacks (I won't go through the gory details), suffice to say I went over my calories by about 900! Stupid, stupid, stupid. I didn't feel this way until this morning when I woke and realized what I had done (plus I felt like crap physically).

I'm back on track today, no problem. This will be a faded memory in a short while but it served to teach me that my nemesis is the wine (or alcohol) - not because I get drunk but I had enough that my decision making is very poor. So lesson learned, tattooed on my brain. I debated whether I should write and confess. I was going to just put a quick "howdy do" note up but then I thought it was important to be honest with myself and you all.

So in summary lessons learned...

Get rid of all the really bad junky food in the house (Done)
Abstain from drinking alcohol while trying to lose weight (will try my hardest)
Always be honest and open (demonstrated by this post I hope)
Remember, one bite, one decision and one drink, bad decision ...

So off for a long workout, I need to punish myself physically.

Be happy (I feel better now)...

Updated: A 3 mile walk earlier today, 2 Shred sessions and power walking with weights on the treadmill...my butt kick for my indiscretion is complete...!

Down 2

2010-10-24T18:42:00.000-07:00

Well, the day off exercise is what I think I needed after driving hard. I am down 2 and feeling great today. I had a cool dream last night. I actually saw myself with a gang of people and I was thin and healthy and vivacious! I was trying to think who was this person, and when I was like this? Then I realized it may be things to come; or it will be things to come....

G

Be happy!

Will Power

2010-10-23T17:49:00.000-07:00

We all need it, sometimes a sprinkle, other times a bucket full.

Whether it's a family gathering, a neighborhood social, a party, going to the fair, or any other event on the calendar, we are all confronted with temptations. Hopefully our will to be healthy and strong allows us to make the right choices to stay on track. For me, the messages I'm trying to keep from and center in my mind are:

Eat consciously. You may be thinking "well of course" but for me I can get myself so wrapped up in working at the office, on the computer, or watching TV or running from point A to point B that I just grab what is handy, available and scarf it down before I really know what I've done. One behaviour I have to change is making a point to eat with no distractions. I pride myself in being a multi-tasker but typing on a computer with one hand and stuffing a cheese burger in my mouth in the other is an issue.

One bite, one decision. I saw this on a website and love these four words. I need to remember to think about the food I am wanting to taster and decide, is this what I need? I may want it but is it what I need to fuel my body with nutrition?

Drink water before every meal. This is obvious to all of us but we all struggle to get in the gallons of water that should be ingested. I am getting in the habit of drinking a generous amount of water before I eat to get the water in and to full me up more easily.

Planning is power. As we get more aware of the foods that we need and the calories, it should be easier to think ahead and plan what we are going to eat and when. This means what you eat at home, take with you to the office or a social event or what options we have at a restaurant or other event. I have become very diligent at tracking my food and nutritional values (not just calories) so I can see where I am for the day, what went well and what needs to change. I don't want to guess or approximate; I'm not good enough with the numbers yet.

I'd love to hear what other mindful messages or words of wisdom do you have to keep temptations at bay.

Today we got my portable car shelter up. It's not for a car but the lawn equipment and outside furniture. I didn't get the Shred in which I'm a little disappointed in but the shelter took longer to build that we thought and it was a priority. We had our first dusting of snow last night so I have to get the outside in order. We did do a lot of heavy listing but it in no way constitutes a workout.

Still at 20 down but the scale was down a few .X points today. Maybe tomorrow I'll see the next lower X. number. Tomorrow is weigh in day I'll be lucky to see 2 this week but I am ok with this (for now).

Ttyl, be happy...

Shred Dead but still going...

2010-10-22T18:30:00.000-07:00

It's been 6 consecutive days (don't chuckle) and I'm exhausted. Not just from the Shred, in the last 3 days I've done 3 hours of heavy lifting and carrying to move a friend, 4 hours of heavy work re-arranging the garage (actually moving lots of stuff other people are storing at my house) and today, I had to spread and rake a 15X30 area of gravel to erect a car port tomorrow - now that was the hardest. I almost cried when I started cause I realized I can't do this alone but guess what, 1 1/2 hours later I was almost done (had to stop as it was dusk). Oh I also did my walk or treadmill work plus attended kick boxing. Am I crazy or what?

For the last three days I've wanted to say, the Shred can wait but I made a commitment. Thank goodness it's only 20 minutes. Once I get through the 1 set the rest is OK. This thing better be worth it. I am finding certain moves easier but my arms and shoulders are sore.

So me is tired and going to bed, till tomorrow,

Be happy...

Stop Being a Moron

2010-10-22T06:17:00.000-07:00

As I went through my daily trolling of blogs, I read Tony's about the priorfatgirl family and was intrigued so I hopped over to Jen's blog. Boy am I glad I did. Jen has done an amazing job of losing 90+ lbs and keeping it off and continued blogging for 2+ years to help and inspire others. I was curious about her contest to join the priorfatgirl family but unfortunately the entry deadline was Oct 21 :(. Oh well, I was still very interested in what she had to say and her journey.

One thing I like to do when looking at other blogs is to see how long they have been on their journey, how long have they been blogging and their progress. I go to the beginning, ie the first blogs entries to read the start of the story - the who, why, how of the person and the decision to change. I try to feel the emotion and get a sense of the commitment to move towards a new life. It's kinda funny because when you read a book you start at the front and then if you're like me you may cheat and read the last few pages... with a blog you are starting with the here and now but you really do need to see the person at the start.

I read one of her early posts called "Skinny Bitch" and it was an A HA moment for me, the second this month... I hope she doesn't mind me posting the content here but I thought it was so relevant to all of us struggling day in and day out to stay on our journey and those out their still not fully committed, here goes:

About 6 months ago, I bought a book called “Skinny Bitch” by Rory Freedman & Kim Barnouin. Although I think these ladies take healthy living to an extreme (all natural, no meat or dairy, no processed, no additives, etc), one of the main themes of the book has continued to keep me motivated. I’ve copied here a excerpts from the book that I repeat to myself when I am discouraged or unmotivated.

“Stop being a moron and start getting skinny! If you can’t take one more day of self-loathing, your ready to hear the truth: You cannot keep shoveling the same crap into your mouth every day and expect to loose weight.”

“Are you sick and tired of being fat? Good. If you can’t take one more day of self-loathing, your ready to get skinny. You don’t need a degree in biology to get skinny. You don’t need to starve yourself to get skinny. You don’t need to spend all day at the gym to get skinny. You just need to smarten up and use your head. Really. Its that simple. We have been so brainwashed by fad diets, magazine articles, and advertising that we have forgotten how to think for ourselves.”

“This is not a diet. This is a way of life. A way to enjoy food. A way to feel healthy, clean, energized and pure. Its time to reclaim your mind and body. It’s time to strut your skinny ass down the street like you’re in an episode of Charlie’s Angels with some really cool song playing around in the background.”

“Junk food will never go away. It becomes more alluring by the minute with laboratory-developed aromas, artificial flavors, chemical food colors, toxic preservatives, and heart-stopping hydrogenated oils. We know these are impossible to resit, but no one ever got skinny on junk food. Use your head. Candy bars, potato chips and ice cream taste like heaven, of course. But they will pitch a tent on your hips and camp out all year long.”

“What if someone told you that you could totally change your life and have the body you want for the rest of your life? What if all you had to do was struggle for a month or two? What if you could reprogram your brain to actually enjoy healthy foods? Well, guess what? You can change your life. You can enjoy healthy foods.”

“Recognize that anything worth having is worth fighting for. Good health, vitality, more energy, more confidence, better sex, great abs, a tight ass – you either want ‘em or you don’t. You can continue plodding along in your life feeling like your not living up to your glorious potential or you can dedicate yourself to creating the life you want. F*ck excuses about not having the time or the money. You spend forty hours a week working, or more if you are a working mom. Certainly your health and your body and you are more important than anything else in your life. You are worthless to your colleagues, friends, and family if you do not value yourself enough to take care of you. Yes, you have to put yourself before your friends, parents, boyfriend, husband and even your children.”

http://www.amazon.com/Skinny-Bitch-Kim-Barnouin/dp/0762424931

A great message although moron is not the right word. But the message is STOP, turn and move in a new direction. I will definitely keep as something to reflect back on when feeling less motivated or bummed out. I hope it helps you too,

Glenda

P.S. My Challenge updates, almost forgot it was Friday ...

My forth update on my three challenges and still going strong.

Syl's October Challenge

- Day 22 October and 13 shred completed and 22 consecutive days of exercise for 60min each (minimum excluding Shred); woohoo!

1. Lose 36 pounds - lost 4 this week for 20 pounds to date,

2. Workout a total of 5 times a week and go to my Kickboxing classes (counts as 2 a week) - done

3. Keep my blogging, my food plan and other stats up to date AND report on Friday's - rockin and rollin along, I LOVE THIS BLOGGING STUFF!!!

at my local gym

1. Lose 25 pounds - I've lost 20 so far after starting Sep 20 and won one weekly challenge at the gym for highest % loss!

2. Don't quit the challenge - Haven't missed a weigh in & going strong!

3. Attend gym classes regularly - done, I am a keener

Pricks in Our Life

2010-10-21T05:52:00.000-07:00

"Fable of the porcupine:

It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together. This way they covered and protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions even though they gave off heat to each other.

After a while, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth. Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. This way they learned to live with the little wounds that were caused by the close relationship with their companion, but the most important part of it, was the heat that came from the others.

This way they were able to survive.

Moral of the story: The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but the best is when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person's good qualities."

I love this, it was sent to me by my best friend I spoke about 2 weeks ago who does have a few pricks that I have to learn to accept. In reality I have accepted them for the most part because we have been in each other's lives for 20 years. I love her dearly and promise to do what I can to support her through her troubles and negative views on life but I also promise not to let her disposition negatively affect me. I do admire the fact that she is a honest person, she is really funny and the life of the party at times and would always run to my side when I need her.

So think about the pricks in your life. Not the jerks that come and go each day but the pricks that are part of your circle of family and friends. Keep in mind their positive qualities, the ones that keep you warm when your feeling alone and chilly. Overlook those barbs when you can and take a breather too in the relationship in order to re-energize...

Be happy...

51 and 51...

2010-10-20T18:39:00.000-07:00

Hey I also wanted to thank all the bloggers who are following me, the number is at 51 which amazes me. Thank you for your support and I'll try my darnedest to keep things interesting, informative and inspirational (who me? I'll try!)...

I'm Retired

2010-10-20T12:43:00.000-07:00

At 51? I wish. I was tired yesterday and I'm tired today...get it re-tired?

I'm not sure why because I have been getting more sleep and I have been eating well but maybe I have been exercising too much (1-2 hrs), is that possible? When I exercise I tend to go all out and push myself hard. I am pretty sore especially in my arms and shoulders so I'm going to cut back a bit or ease off for a few days. I'm going to keep moving but less intensity. Any suggestions would be welcome...

I've met the 20 pound mark in 1 month and I am overjoyed. Mind you I have worked hard for this. I've also lost 5 inches off my waist, 4 off the abdomen and 3 off the hips. I see a shape coming back that is not round anymore. Another milestone for me (and this one is even bigger) is I went to lunch today with an old friend. I looked up the food options before hand so went in prepared. We had lunch and talked for a solid 90 minutes, then had to say our goodbyes. When I was driving away I thought - wow I didn't even think of wine! Normally I would have a glass of wine with a friendly lunch. If I didn't I would be thinking about it constantly and feeling deprived. Today I didn't even think of it - I felt a wave of liberation flow through me.

I know a month is not a long time and 20 pounds is just a start but I am very pleased. I know there will be hard times in the future but that's where I know I can come here and poor my soul out and get the advice and support I need.

I'm a 51 year old woman who has put off getting healthy for too long. I have seen many birthdays, Christmas', parties, etc come and go when I wanted to be smaller, dress more stylishly, be more confident and happy but haven't had what it would take to get healthy. That is the mindset, the plan and the support needed. I am already looking forward to how much healthier I am going to be for Christmas and for my 52nd birthday - I will be celebrating a new me for sure!

Be Happy!

This is a Blog Hop! 6 entries so far thanks to Lucy... you're next!

Shred Challenge

2010-10-19T04:59:00.000-07:00

I have been doing the Shred but not every day. I've done lots of exercise, a minimum of 60 minutes a day but with the walk/runs, kick boxing and kettle bells, I can't do everything everyday. That being said I decided yesterday to do "the 30 day Shred" meaning every day for 30 days. What made me decide to do this?

- I like the 20 minute workout for what I can see it is doing for me
- It's getting colder outside and the weather is so unpredictable (ie. rain, rain, rain)
- I found out yesterday I could do the video and turn Jillian off, the repetition of her messages was really annoying me

I responded to Deb today that I was very impressed with her results. I know there are others who have done this but for some reason it just clicked for me to start my own challenge. So day 1 is done. I'm on level 1 and still struggling to do proper push ups and all the jumping jacks and skipping in circuit 1. Maybe by the end of 30 days I may be on level 3 but that is not my goal. My goal is 30 days....

Be Happy...

Monday thoughts

2010-10-18T15:59:00.000-07:00

Gotta get working out so a quick update today.

Weigh in was great for BL club yesterday. I came in second for the week with a loss of 5 pounds or 2.48%. If I look at the week to week results I actually won because the other contestant didn't weigh in the week before so her loss was for two weeks (2.60% for two weeks). Meow, can you tell I'm competitive? Well what matters is what I am doing and my progress so I gave myself a big hug.

Measurements didn't change too much this week, down one inch overall (arms and thighs) but I can tell toning is happening. I have less of a cottage cheese look in my ass (did I actually admit to that)? That was one of my embarrassing moments in the last year when I was wearing yoga pants that were tight (I liked wearing them cause everything was kept in place) and a kid said "why do you have bumps in your bum" to me... Kids say the darnedest things...

Another happy note - I did try on some of my jeans and I have graduated from a size 16 to a size 14 - Boo Ya!!!

Be happy...

H Health, heavenly, hope, harmony, honesty

A Alive, appreciate, accountable, active, achieve

P Perseverance, positive, patience

P Peace, passion, peak, precious

Y Years, young, youthful, yeah

P.S. did my Shred and what do you know, I can do the video with music only and silence Jillian!!!

The Morning After

2010-10-17T07:04:00.000-07:00

How many times...

Have you woken up feeling tired even though you've had 8-9 hours sleep?
Have you woken up feeling crappy and you haven't even ventured out of bed?
Have you gotten up in bed and sat at the edge waiting for the energy to get up?
Have you gotten out of bed and walked to the bathroom and your feet ache, your knees are cracking and your lower back is screaming?
Have you looked at the scale in the bathroom and said "no way no how"
Have you looked in the mirror and said "why again" meaning why did I eat so much so late? "Why did I drink too much?" "When are you going to smarten' up?"

For me it was too many times. I'm talking 100's of days if not 1000's!

These thoughts all crossed my mind this morning when I was up and dressed, getting ready for my weigh in. I was opening the curtains in my room and looking outside with a huge smile on my face. I know we all have moments where we feel the cravings or feel deprived but the feeling I had this morning was so powerful it needs to be something I remember when those weak moments present themselves.

Today I felt proud, successful, vital, energetic, maybe a bit sore but from exercise, not from inactivity. I didn't feel guilt or shame which is huge for me!!! I have woken up countless mornings knowing that I was killing myself with my choices and I did not like the weak and out of control person staring back at me in the mirror. At this moment I feel strong, in control and the connection between my mind and body. We need to be truly aware of ourselves and these moments because these are the flames that are needed to stoke the fire and keep us moving positively on our journey. Don't take any of these thoughts or moments for granted. When you have them, think about the cause and effects, then and now. It will make a big difference, it has for me.

So with that huge smile I got a few things done and went off to my weigh in. I am down 5 pounds since last week. I still am in a bit of shock with that result but.... I have maintained my 1200 calories a day of all GOOD, healthy food, drank gallons of water and exercised every day a min of 60 minutes (walks or workouts or a combo). The recipe seems to be working!

Have a great day and here's to 1000's more perfect awakenings!

Be happy...

2010-10-16T15:57:00.000-07:00

Started the day jumping on the scale which showed a 2 pound loss. I couldn't believe it. At first it didn't register but then I realized it said 198. Not sure if this is real so we'll see tomorrow. It's Sunday and biggest loser weigh in day so hopefully it's a good one.

Not a long post today as I am off to do the Shred, Tae Bo (my first try, I've had the DVD for years) and some treadmill work... I'm on my own tonight so instead of just sitting and watching a movie, I am going to do a workout and then relax!

Humpty Dumpty Had a Great Fall

2010-10-15T17:21:00.000-07:00

Today was a day filled with promise.

I got on the scale first and I was under 200! Boo Ya, Promise #1.

My plans included travelling to NY (I live in Canada) for some US shopping with my sister and two nieces. It's about a 2 hour drive to our destination. We stopped for Timmie's (sorry if you don't know what Tim Horton's is, the best coffee...) and I was looking for the Shape magazine. I found it but it was October's issue. I bought it anyway just in case there was a lull in our car cavorting.

Shopping was great, I didn't want to spend too much, especially on myself as I wanted to wait until I am down (plus I have a closet full of a range of sized clothes) but I did buy a neat pair of shoes. Black clog type with a 2 1/2 inch heel and really stylish with jeans and pants alike. I decided to wear them out of store instead of the boots I choose in the morning. Well we were walking down the mall and didn't my left foot slip on their shiny ceramic tile floor and boom, down I went right on my left hip. Humpty Dumpty Had a Great Fall

Me and my parcels are down for the count. Don't feel sorry for me as we all laughed so much we almost created a few puddles on the floor! It did smart a lot and I felt a little embarrassed but I have to admit, if I hadn't been exercising for the past month and if I hadn't lost 16 pounds, not only would the fall have hurt more but I don't think I would have been able to get up so quickly (I practically sprang to my feet). Promise #2

Then I got home to find out I was one of the winners of Laura's Shape contest (thank you!!!). I never win anything so this was exciting new, only......

I managed to pick up the November issue while I was in the US! I waffled about buying it but thought, I don't think I'll win and it would be great to have it for weekend reading so I made the purchase. I'm happy anyway cause I'm able to start reading it tonight. Laura can pass on my copy to some other deserving entrant, Promise #3

Oh and when we crossed the border we were over our limit for the day's shopping (dah) and the custom's agent grilled us, but let us through without paying duty and taxes, Promise #4!

A very good day indeed. It will be interesting to see the colour of the bruise tomorrow, maybe it will turn to fall like colours?

Be Happy!

Hot 100 Challenge Update

2010-10-15T16:40:00.000-07:00

My third update on my three challenges and still going strong.

Syl's October Challenge

- Day 15 October and 9 shred completed and 15 days of exercise for 60min each (minimum excluding Shred); woohoo!

1. Lose 36 pounds - lost 16 pounds to date

2. Workout a total of 5 times a week and go to my Kickboxing classes (counts as 2 a week) - done

3. Keep my blogging, my food plan and other stats up to date AND report on Friday's - rockin and rollin along

at my local gym

1. Lose 25 pounds - I've lost 16 so far after starting Sep 20

2. Don't quit the challenge - Haven;t missed a weigh in & going strong!

3. Attend gym classes regularly - done

Goodbye Rear View Mirror

2010-10-14T19:05:00.000-07:00

I am finding it amazing how the stars seems to be in an alignment or something like that.

Yesterday my blog was about positive and negative self talk - my angel and devil. I had great feedback, many thanks to you all. One message was from a newcomer which made me gulp, it was pretty deep for me. I found Janelle through a post from Michelle (many thanks) and went to her blog. I was immediately drawn to her profound thoughts and perspectives. The words she left me in her comment with were...

"fact: Life always moves FOWARD, never BACKWARDS. So, you can never be where you were before. It's impossible. You are HERE, NOW. All you have been through in your life up to this point is stored within you, but it does not have to define you. We can use those old lessons to learn and grow, but we cannot let them DEFINE us. This is a NEW place for you! Embrace, enjoy and celebrate!"

Wow.... take a moment and really savor this.

I can and hopefully have learned from my past and taken this knowledge to lay out a new future for myself. This definitely is a new and exciting place for me and the bounty of hope that I feel is immense. I am a different person. I acknowledge proudly that I am not on a weight loss journey, I am on a journey to become a healthy and vibrant woman. A key element of that journey is weight loss through healthy eating and exercise. I am not a defeated fat person. I am a fat person successfully changing her life. Even if the pounds come off slowly I will feel successful, proud and confident because I am doing something so different than what I would do in the past (binge eat, starve, drink, binge eat, starve and then feel guilt, shame, loneliness, embarrassed - well you know all the words I am thinking of).

So what defines success. We all set goals, some very short term, some of use have different milestones and some have long term goals. I have set my interim and long term goal (they are on "my page"). These goals are defined by weight, measurements, accomplishments. I am building on these goals constantly based on what I am learning from other bloggers (the wealth of knowledge, feeling and commitment I feel from others to their goals is inspiring).

Again Janelle, so many thanks to you. I am sending you a big hug!

That was yesterday and the focus of my thoughts this morning. Today it was pretty miserable outside (seems like a lot of bloggers had rain to contend with) but there was a break in the rain so I decided to take my doggie Kosmo out for a walk (I am hooked on walking with him). I knew we couldn't go far cause the sky looked menacing and the road was so muddy. I decided not to take my ipod cause, it was going to be a quicky. However, the rain stayed away long enough for us to walk about 2 miles and I had not music so I let my mind wander.

I have been blessed to own a home in the country on 10 acres so when I go walking, there is not too much traffic and there is lots of nature around us. One of these days I'll take my camera but I am not as handy with it as some of you. I have spent many hours walking and thinking. I thought about what signs of change I would like to see in myself. So I made a list. I am already seeing some of these take shape but am not in a position to cross them off yet...

get rid of the double chin
get rid of the chubby face
be able to take my gold rings off easily
feel my rib bones standing, not just lying in bed
be able to bend over effortlessly, really bend over!
get back to running and run with ease
get into my target clothes at each milestone (1st one size 12 jeans)
wear size 10 jeans
wear size 8 jeans
get rid of all my fat clothes once and for all (not hide them in the garage and then have to go back into them)
wear a black evening dress (the slinky kind)
see actual definition in my arms
conquer the B:B ratio (boob to belly 3:1 vs 1:3)
get rid of the butt jiggle
get rid of the back boobs
be able to sit and bend over without being stopped by my belly
be able to show my face in photos wantingly
see my collarbone!
shop for any type of clothes I want in any store
feel no pain in my knees and lower back

Have you thought about any of these changes? What other changes are you looking for?

Have a great night, be happy...

P.S. here is a picture of my doggie, he is the cutest (and boy is he getting in good shape too)

My Angel and Devil

2010-10-13T11:12:00.000-07:00

So it's been just over 3 weeks for me on my life change / journey and I've been having some weird thoughts lately.

I've been feeling really positive about my exercise routing. I like the choices I am making and I am finding I want to add a bit more and go every day. I don't want to go crazy because I cannot commit to working out 2-3 hours a day physically and time wise. I do want to do more active things which are a type of exercise than before. The thought that flashed though my mind yesterday was...

"hey you, I know your feeling really good from the kick boxing and walk outside but haven't we been here before? Haven't we committed to exercise and stayed with it for 2 - 3 months only to drop it? Then you go back to being a couch potatoe? What makes this time different?"

I have no idea why but there it was in the my conscious thought.

Also, I was going through the entries in my journal pleased with my progress both with food choices, portions and ratios (ie. fat to carbs, etc). Then a thought popped in my head...

"hey you, I know your feeling really good about the food plan but haven't we been here before? Haven't we committed to the plan and stayed with it for 2 - 3 months only to drop it? Then we gain back all the weight and maybe a little more? What makes this time different?"

I took these thoughts and combined them with my hesitation to share my "change" with my extended family and friends. The only people that know are my son, my sister and circle of bloggers. Why won't I openly disclose what I am doing?

"hey you, you know the answer to this. It's because you've done this so many times in the past and failed. They won't roll their eyes in front of you but they will be thinking... here she goes again, on her dieting and exercise band wagon. I wonder how long it will last this time"

What did I do? I said to myself...

"hey you, stupid. I'm the one in control here so back off. I am the one making the choices and I know in my heart and MIND that this time is different. I'm not going to let you're thoughts have any credibility. I know what's past is past and the future is going to be different. I am the master of my destiny. I will be a changed person by my 52nd birthday, this is not negotiable."

So to add some humour to the cause I've labelled this the angel and devil moment. The devil is the stupid one putting those questionable, defeatist thoughts in my head and the angel is the one in control. I feel really good about this and boy I just love the fact I've found a place to record it and reflect back.

Now my Booya moment (pronounced boooo ya!). I won the biggest loser challenge at the club last week having lost 3.1% of my body weight. I've also maintained my 15 lb loss and still feeling leaner and pumped.

Also it's Blog Hop Wed so join ahead and join in!

Gotta get out for a walk in this glorious weather, ta for now, be happy!

Update: walk was fantastic, 4 miles plus another 1 mile run, booya!

Just 10 Challenge

2010-10-12T15:07:00.000-07:00

Hey, seems like a logical thing to do, I have my goals already set but measuring 10 by 10 is a good way to take it in smaller "bites" and savoring the loss...

The Just 10 Challenge is about making a small commitment with a huge payoff. Join Dr. Oz's national movement that promises to change the health of America, 10 pounds at a time. CLICK HERE to join the movement by getting your free Just 10 bracelet from Zappos.com.

PS, you cannot get this bracelet outside of the US :(. I emailed the site to inquire but the entry form only allows US states.

Glenda aka Happy :)

Me, Substance? I Think So!

2010-10-12T04:12:00.000-07:00

Thanks Michelle for another blog award. I appreciate the recognition. This is all new to me and I can't keep up with all the acceptance speeches, tee hee. A blog with substance seems cool as I am assuming it means my blog content has so meaning to more than just me, I like that...

So in order to comply with accepting this award I have to:

1. Thank the person who gave you the award. Thank you Michelle!

2. Explain my blogging philosophy, motivation and experience in five words.

“Honesty, accountability, engaged, inquisitive, enthusiastic”

3. Give the award to 10 other bloggers (I’ll do 5)...

http://www.42magicnumber.blogspot.com/

http://www.lifeinfatlane.blogspot.com/

http://lauralynnec.blogspot.com/

http://www.fatgirltothin.blogspot.com/

http://gettingnshape.blogspot.com/

I also wanted to give kudos to Laura who wrote yesterday that she will be in the November issue of SHAPE telling her story of weight loss. She lost 125 pounds and is going strong; a real inspiration. She is giving away a free issue of Shape magazine to 5 different bloggers who comment on her blog post and post about the giveaway on their own blog.

http://lauragetsfit.blogspot.com/2010/10/my-first-freebie-giveaway.html#comment-form

Check out her blog and the upcoming issue!

Have a great day, be happy!

Fat to Fit Blog Hop

2010-10-11T16:07:00.001-07:00

Find lots of new bloggers, read their stories and share!

This is a Blog Hop! 22 entries so far... you're next!

Click here to enter

What is a blog hop?

Get the code here...

Wow Jeans vs BowWow Jeans

2010-10-11T11:55:00.000-07:00

Just a quickie today... this is the end of week 3 and start of week 4 and here are my highlights:

I'm down 15 pounds and 16 3/4 inches, mostly around my mid drift, waist and abs (woo hoo).
I feel much less pain or discomfort in my feet and knees
I can bend over with more ease then before (less huffing and puffing)
I feel more alert and energetic

I posted earlier last week about a target outfit, well I pulled out some clothes from my closet and choose target jeans for this leg of my journey. The chosen one is a nice size 12 that I'm not sure I ever wore. When I lost about 35 pounds last time and was loosely in a size 14, I liked these jeans at the store although they were snug I thought, no problem, I'll get them on sale and wear them in a few weeks - NOT. Leave it to me to go the other way and have to go back into the size 16 and 18 jeans in my closet!

So I took the chosen jeans and put them on a hanger and have them on the door in my bedroom to look at everyday. I also took a picture of me in these jeans (see, I could barely get them up my thighs and definitely couldn't seal the deal)...

So here is a picture of a pair of jeans I wear now, they are my MOM jeans and I don't know what I was thinking when I bought them. They are comfy though, all my chubby weight is held in...

I'm waiting to hear officially how I did with my biggest loser challenge last week but it was a great week so I am keeping my fingers crossed that maybe I was the champ...Gotta go, time for an enjoyable walk outside with my little man and doggie...

Be happy!

Blog Award

2010-10-10T20:39:00.000-07:00

Hey, I received a blog award from Christina. This is my first so I'm not exactly sure what to do next but first I want to say many thanks Christina for noticing me and giving me this recognition. It's always positive when someone else takes the time to say "job well done"...

The rules of this blog award are as follows so here I go:
1. Thank the person who gave you the award (thanks above...:)
2. Share seven things about yourself.

I love dogs
Fall is my favourite time of year
I hate word games or puzzles
I like reality TV (yeh, might as well be honest)
I am addicted to my computer
My family lives in Ottawa except for a wonderful sister in Texas
I am a night owl

3. Nominate 15 newly discovered blogs - I've nominated 5... this is new and I know I didn't do this very efficiently, maybe it will be easier next time.

4. Let your nominees know about their award. Done...

Again, many thanks Christina!

Thankful

2010-10-10T16:24:00.000-07:00

I had a good thanksgiving dinner with the family yesterday but boy it was stressful. A few family drama things that always happen but the most trying event was when my stove decided to go wonky after 5 hours of cooking the turkey. I noticed when the veggies were to go on and the burners wouldn't work. We pulled the stove out and WOW, there was a spark meaning wiring!!!! Sure enough the watchamacallit was disconnected and the thingamabob was fried. Thankfully my brother was here and this is his "bag" so he turned off the power, removed parts and replaced things within 45 minutes so the turkey could go back in and the veggies could be cooked!

I stayed on plan which was really hard - the food part was fine cause I was so frazzled I barely stopped for a moment. The "no wine" was an amazing achievement cause I really wanted a glass of wine after dealing with the mechanical problems... but I persevered and triumphed!

In honour of Thanksgiving and today being 10/10/10 I wanted to list my top 10 things I'm thankful for...

Blogging - I am so glad I discovered this a few weeks back and look forward to reading others stories and having a place to document my journey
Country living - I have been living in the country for almost 30 years, raised a family and enjoyed the great outdoors all year round!
Friends - I am grateful for the friends that I spend quality time with
My brothers - the rocks of the family and a valuable part of my circle of friends
My sisters - the bestest friends I have and the girls I confide in the most
My Dad - even though he is no longer here, he taught me many valuable lessons about the simple things in life
My Mom - a woman who raised 6 kids in a difficult environment who I am so appreciative for having gotten to know much better as I matured (and smarten'd up she would say...)
My kids - I have two fantastic boys who I would spend every waking moment with if they'd let me; I cherish them both and love them with every fabric of my being
My health - I am grateful for my health at the moment and am using this journey as a means to improve and protect myself for a long, healthy and vibrant life
And finally My Spirit - at this moment I am connected with who I am and I love me! I am undergoing a hardware & software update to my body which is fueled by my spirit for wanting much more out of life!!!

Oh and one more, thank god my brother was here and we fixed this problem, I don't want to think of what might have happened :)

Be happy,

Glenda

An A HA Moment!

2010-10-09T09:00:00.000-07:00

I found some information yesterday and had an A-HA moment. I may have seen this in the past but can't remember or it definitely did not sink in.

- How to calculate the calories per day you need versus what you are eating on "your program" to estimate the pounds that could be lost per week OR
- Why did I gain weight in the first place

The first link is an excellent write up on calculating your BMR (basal metabolic rate). The second is a site for calculating your BMI. I'll let you do the reading and then calculate your's...

http://263andcounting.com/how-to-calculate-you-calorie-intake-limit/ Thanks Tara!
http://www.bmi-calculator.net/bmr-calculator/

So I calculated mine:

BMR = 1595 (just insert your stats into the BMI calculator)
Activity level selected = 1.55 I'll use 3-5 moderate exercise sessions per week
Calories per day to maintain my current weight (BMR*activity level) = 2472 calories
Current calorie target per day = 1200 calories
Calories deficit per day (2472 - 1200) = 1272
Estimated pounds loss / week = 2.5 ((2472*7) - (1200*7)) / 3500 = 2.5

A HA - A calorie total of 2472 for me to maintain my weight at a moderate activity level. No wonder I gained weight! I definitely ate over that amount a day plus I was not doing moderate exercise sooooo my real calorie maximum per day would be 1914!!!

Now that I have some information I believe this re-assures me that I should be seeing a weight loss per week if I maintain my eating and exercise plan. Now how much you loss can be dependent on other factors like fluid retention, illness, stress, etc. I expect to see fluctuations per week but the darn thing should work over time; patience and persistence is needed.

I hope you found this helpful. I'd appreciate any feedback regarding the information, have I misunderstood it?

Ta for today and be happy

This POOP Works!

2010-10-09T06:56:00.000-07:00

I am on a high right now. Down 2 more making it 14 pounds in just under 3 weeks but more important than that (yes there are more important things) I feel wonderful today! It just occurred to me when I came downstairs today that I simply walked down the stairs... I didn't hold the railing, baby my right foot (which was the one afflicted with plantar fascia) or go down one step at a time. I had a spring to my step and when it hit me I couldn't stop smiling! This POOP works (that's right poop not s&it)!!! I'm not going to swear as I find this really unnecessary; I do my fair share of swearing believe me, I have been accused of having a mouth like a sailor. This comes from working with a lot of loud, aggressive men. But I digress...

Today we are having our big Thanksgiving dinner. I have the turkey in the oven all stuff to the gills (wait turkey's don't have gills..), OK he's all stuffed up. I'm also making a low fat pumpkin soup for the early guests to have for a late lunch or appetizer (recipe can be found on the site under My Recipes).

Just about to do some tidying up and then out for a big walk/run and I might do the shred or kettle bells after. I am really stoked about today not just because we have a family get together but because I feel so great right now I know I am going to do well with my plan today - my mind is in the ZONE. For those of you who have read some of my blogs, I am not just a foodie but I love my red wine. LOVE IT! I can live without it which is demonstrated by the almost twenty days so far (OK I fell off last weekend away with girls for a couple of reasons but that's another blog). I have connected the fact that if I drink wine, I will eat more and I will eat not necessarily the good stuff, then I will go to bed feeling bad about myself. More importantly I will most likely walk up a little stiff, a cloudy head and revert back to inching my way downstairs AND I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.

So stay on my program today, no problem.

Including no wine today, no problem.

Exercise today, for sure.

Be extremely thankful for everything I have and what it has made me, absolutely.

I have another blog coming out today that I wrote yesterday that works in tandem with this one, my A HA moment, I hope you enjoy them both!

Be happy and be thankful!!!

I Throw My Hands Up In the Air Sometimes

2010-10-08T11:32:00.000-07:00

I am in a good mood surfing around after a nice walk outside and I managed to run 1k, wooohooo. I found this link on you tube of a guy from Ontario Canada and man he is fantastic. Maybe he'll be as popular as Justin Beiber (yes I agree we need to replace JB on the charts). I like the performance which is all A Capella and these lines from the song seem very appropriate for me...

I Throw My Hands Up In The Air Sometimes, Saying Ay-Oh, Gotta Let go. I wanna celebrate and live my life, Saying Ay-Oh, Baby Let's Go.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjCLQaTFXx0

Get up and exercise or just celebrate, throw your hands up in the air and just let go and have fun!

Hope you enjoy it too, be happy!

Friday Challenge Update

2010-10-08T06:12:00.000-07:00

My second update on my three challenges, all is going well so far. Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!

Syl's October Challenge

- Day 8 October and 5 shred completed and 8 days of exercise for 60min each (minimum excluding Shred); woohoo!

1. Lose 36 pounds - lost 12 pounds to date
2. Workout a total of 5 times a week and go to my Kickboxing classes (counts as 2 a week) - 7 days of 60 min walks, 3 kick boxing classes, 1 kettle bell class and 4 shred! Many workouts completed; maybe I should count minutes completed like some people?
3. Keep my blogging, my food plan and other stats up to date AND report on Friday's - so far I've been updated daily, helps me keep focused and I am addicted.

at my local gym

1. Lose 25 pounds - I've lost 12 so far after starting Sep 20

2. Don't quit the challenge - Haven;t missed a weigh in & going strong!

3. Attend gym classes regularly - Yup, done even though I had to dig deep for the motivation to go last night!

Kick Boxing ASS Kicking

2010-10-07T18:52:00.000-07:00

Today was a beautiful day so I managed to get out for a 4 mile walk, then came in to do a kettle bell workout, then ended the day with my kick boxing class.

I've been to 4 kick boxing classes and they are intense. Just my luck today she focused 80% on upper arms using weights (after 40 minutes with the kettle bell...) and then we did cardio with a skipping rope. Who ever brought a skipping rope into a gym for workouts instead of leaving them in the playground should be shot. And what does skipping with a rope have to do with kick boxing anyway? Well I managed to do most of the work but man it was hard.

The class is a good hour long with 40 minutes of punching and kicking routines, ab work, and cardio followed by 20 minutes of work with the bag which I love, I am intense at punching the crap out of the bag. Each time I imagine it as another person that has pissed me off in the past and beat them senseless. There is just a small handful of people who I categorize as scum - the kind of people who call you a dear friend to your face and stab you in the back at the first chance. Since there's only a couple, once I'm tired of them I'll pretend the bag is a big fat monster and continue to beat the crap out of it each class.

I'm not down again today but like I said I feel like I am building muscle and toning well. I need to be patient to see the pounds down on the scale. I know that working out hard will build muscle which weighs more and sooner or later the hard work and staying on plan will pay off.....right?

I'm really hoping there is some decrease for my BL weigh in this weekend. If it's none or modest my measurements will be more telling of how I am changing.

Tomorrow is Hot 100 update, should be a decent one for the week,

Be Happy

Holding Strong

2010-10-06T19:17:00.000-07:00

Just a quick add on to my note this morning. I was feeling somewhat down for most of the day but was definitely encouraged by the comments posted, many thanks!

The weather here is not helping; we're having another day of heavy rain. I tried to get out for a brisk walk twice with my doggie Kosmo and both times we had to turn around after about 5 minutes. I did get a Shred workout in, 30 minutes on the dreadmill and a good session on the rowing machine. That perked up my mood even more - like they say exercise increases the endorphins and improves your mood.

My eating is going well, I don't have any cravings even with the donuts and chocolate chips muffins on the counter; oh yah and the chips sulking in the cupboard. It's been about 2 weeks but it seems like more at this stage. Even though I'm on a small stall (ie. 4 days) I am feeling smaller. I see it in my face, arms, waist/abs and thighs.

I'm going to choose a target outfit out of my closet this week (ie. one that is a few sizes too small for me right now) and put it on, take a picture so I can see what it looks like now vs when I am at my 1st goal (Nov 21 for AFC Biggest Loser Challenge); then I will do this for the Hot 100 too. I have seen this done and it is a really powerful motivator!

Ta for now and be happy!

No Pounds Down Frown :(

2010-10-06T06:37:00.000-07:00

Ok for all you die hearts I am feeling a tad bit discouraged this morning. I haven't seen any change in 4 days even though I am committed to healthly eating, drinking lots of water and a minimum of 60 min of exercise a day. I feel I am toning and inches are coming off so that at least keeps my motivation level up there.

If there are any words of advice people can share today with comments, it would be a good time (I don't need cheering, tips or advice on what to do, not do would be better).

Happy with a frown...

Piss off Pissy people

2010-10-05T18:38:00.000-07:00

Why are some people in a chronic pissy mood? I have a dear friend who is about 10 years older than me and she can't find one good thing to say about the world. Today I wanted to go to the US to get a turkey for thanksgiving this weekend. She was feeling lonely lately so I invited her to come. This is after spending the weekend with her and my other girlfriends. She got on my nerves over the weekend but thank goodness the other girls were there too.

So I get up determined to make the best of the day, to not let her get me boiling inside. Even my horoscope warned me...

"Your ability to work with someone else cooperatively may be tested today because your patience is rather short. However, losing your temper isn't helpful if you want to make things better. "

So I figure I need to be cautious. We're not in the car more than 6 minutes and my patience was tested... I was driving down my country road which has a speed limit of 80 klm and I guess I was way over cause I see flashing lights coming at me the other way. I look down and I see I was going 102 klm. I have to pull over so I did, and my friend says " that pisses me off, where are the cops when there are 4X4's speeding down these roads or there are packs of dogs off leashes and..." All I can think of was 'shut up, I broke the law and I got caught'. I control my breathing and get prepared. Sure enough I was going 107 klm. The officer takes my paperwork and licence and goes to the squad car and meanwhile my friend is still going on about how unfair this is. I asked her to calm down and let me get through this. I have never been stopped in all my 33 years of driving. The officer comes back and tells me the ticket should be $137 plus 3 demerit points but since I have a perfect record and was polite, I got a $35 fine.

I make it through with a slap on the wrist but it was a wake up call for me. The moral of the story - be calm and stay centered. I was so glad I did not let my friend get to me. I swear if I had gotten the bigger ticket and points loss I would told my friend I wasn't into the trip and turned back. (then I most likely would have dropped her off and sneaked away on my own; I would rather have driven in silence). But I went on and we made it through the trip. I had to bite my lips so many times they hurt. She complained about the weather, kids these days, all the bad drivers, truckers, who's hurt her lately, blah, blah, blah. The second moral of this story - some people need to be taken in small doses or in large groups (deflection or at least an escape route needs to be in sight).

I love this woman and care for her but our personalites are so different. I want to be HAPPY and I need to make sure I surround myself with positive reinforcement. This doesn't mean I need cheerleaders for my personal quest but I do need people who demonstrate the same beliefs as I do - accountability, choice, strength, commitment, etc. I don't need people who blame everyone else for what is wrong in their lives. Piss off pissy people as I won't be attending you're pity party.

Ah, that feels better. Actually I felt better once I got home, put things away quickly and got my runners on to got outside. It was a beautiful fall day and my doggie and I needed exercise. An hour's walk / run was perfect and then kickboxing tonight....All is well and I'm happy - hope you are too...

HAPPY

2010-10-04T17:57:00.000-07:00

For the few looking at my blog, you may be wondering why the reference to HAPPY. Besides the obvious, I am doing my utmost to be happy. I had an epiphany that ignited my journey this time and at the core is the guttural desire to be happy. I have to find and cherish the things in life and do the deeds that make me happy. I have to stop dwelling in the past and reflecting back on all the things that have happened in a negative way.

I found an anonymous quote today that resonated with me:

" Don't just go through life, GROW through life. Yesterday is gone and you can't get it back so leave the wish I.. woulda, coulda, shoulda in the past with it. Each new day you are given a new opportunity to start over and become a better you. The power lies within you."

I decided to develop a descriptive meaning behind HAPPY that I could reflect on regularly as motivation and inspiration. Maybe it will help you too...

H Health, heavenly, hope, harmony, honesty

A Alive, appreciate, accountable, active, achieve

P Perseverance, positive, patience

P Peace, passion, peak, precious

Y Years, young, youthful, yeah

So I am on a quest to be happy. My mind will be open to all the advice and ideas I am reading in other blogs and the books I read. Most of the blogs out there have days where the person behind the keyboard expresses truly profound words or admissions. Other days are filled with the rants of happiness or frustration - something we all have to do.

One of the blogs today (Cammy - tippytoediet) wrote about the big deal scale, this was great. It reminds me of a book I read (and will reread) called "Don't sweat the small stuff... and it's all small stuff" by Richard Carlson. We know this isn;t true but it's a reminder to me to keep issues in perspective. We all know we can get frustrated, angry and down right pissed about a lot of small things if we let ourselves follow that path. So like I said any advice, ideas, etc are neat to be reminded of.

As for the journey, all is going fine. My motivation is still strong and my dedication to the changes in my eating behavior, exercise, etc is all OK. Finished updating all my stats, my exercise is complete, dishes done, washing in process and gotta get ready for bed.

Good night and be happy...

End to a FUN weekend

2010-10-03T17:26:00.000-07:00

I'm back home from a fun filled weekend with the girls. We have this weekend getaway to a friend's cottage the first weekend in Oct and have been doing this for a while. I was really worried about how I would handle the usual excess of food, the drinks and the lounging around not doing much physical activity. I asked for advice on how I could better prepare myself from my bloggers and I got some good ideas and supportive cheers.

There were a few less of us this year due to personal reasons and although I missed them, the gang that was there had a much closer and relaxed time as we had less to cook for, clean after and coordinate "do we all want to do this?".

The great news is it was one of the best getaways in a while! The not so great news is that I did not stick to my plan. I didn't disclose the new me to my friends meaning my renewed commitment and my approach. I'm not completely sure why but one of the reasons is I've been at this stage so many times before that, although my friends would listen intently and wish me the best, my thoughts were they would be thinking "not again or I wonder how long she will stick to it this time or which program is she going on about now". I know this isn't the truth but I was gun shy. In the end I did manage to stay on my food plan pretty well. I did not have candy, chips or sweet/high fat desserts. I did however enjoy my wine with the gals. I curtailed myself to a much lower limit than the past, I watered down my drinks and I still drank lots of water but I did indulge. Oh well, that was my choice, today I'm back on plan and so far I it would appear I maintained my weight.

I managed to get the girls out for two long challenging walks (6 and 7K respectively) on a very hilly terrain. For the most part we walked at a good pace to break out in a sweat and feel some burn in our legs. I also got a Shred in on Friday. I also woke up in time today to go down the 90 stairs to the lake and see the sunrise (and took 50+ pictures) and it was stunning! I walked up and down these stairs 7 times today. I felt great today driving home even though I felt some small pangs of "why did I not stay on plan" but then again I was able to not beat myself up and demotivate myself. I had lots of energy today which I am sure was from the reasonable good food we ate (no overeating!), water and reduced drinking. I made a amazing low fat cheesecake that had 99 calories and very low in fat (I added it to my recipe pate).

I couldn't weigh in for my biggest loser club this week as we were late leaving the cottage but will be there next Sunday (which by the way for those non-Canadians is our Thanksgiving weekend - another food/alcohol challenge but that's life).

Ta for now and be happy.

Don't lecture me!

2010-10-02T13:55:00.000-07:00

How many times have we had people lecture us about the importance of good eating, sleeping, exercise, etc. All well intentioned messages but I have to admit I often thought or said "don't lecture me". I knew every minute of every day that the choices I was making were not good for my overall well being. Sure it satisfied the need of the moment, that craving but this feeling is short lived and usually always followed by regret or shame.

I updated my long term goals today after a long walk because I have a son who needs to lose a lot of weight. He's always been on the upper end of the weight chart but once he went to university he started to gain weight due to really crappy food choices, eating very late at night, drinking beer and not exercising anymore. It was compounded once he found out about his parents splitting up and the issues that had been going on.

I added a goal to be a supreme role model for him. I don't want to lecture him, I want him to know what's possible with focus and hard work as a living example. I want him to know there is a way out of this. I want him to know that I am there for him to get him back on the right track of a long, healthy and happy life. I know he is ashamed of his weight and I know it bothers him. Sure he's smiles and laughs when people are around but I also know he is in pain when he cannot do the things in life other's his age are enjoying and he is even struggling day to day.

So I not only want to pay it forward and work with overweight kids I want to work with my son in a very constructive and successful way. The first step is to transform me as the living example.

As always, be happy...

Challenge Updates

2010-10-01T04:28:00.000-07:00

My first update on all three challenges, all is going very well so far. Happy October!

Syl's October Challenge

- First day today Oct 1 and 1 shred done!

1. Lose 36 pounds - lost 11 pounds to date
2. Workout a total of 5 times a week and go to my Kickboxing classes (counts as 2 a weeks) - 6 workouts completed
3. Keep my blogging, my food plan and other stats up to date AND report on Friday's - so far I've been updated daily, helps me keep focused!

at my local gym

1. Lose 25 pounds - I've lost 11 so far after starting Sep 20

2. Don't quit the challenge - I'm still here!

3. Attend gym classes regularly - on track

Be happy

Reasons matter

2010-09-30T19:02:00.000-07:00

As I was huffing and puffing during my kickboxing class today and seeing myself in the MIRROR, I had to shake my head and say why...

Why did I fail the last time I lost 35 pounds,

Or the time before that when I lost 40 pounds,

Or the time before that,

You know the cycle.

I have a long way to go and all I could think of was why will this time be different? It made me think back to the "reasons" or my motivation in the past to go on the diet of that year. One notable time was after my second son was born when I was 40. He was a surprize birthday present but a wonderful one. I worked out like a fiend when I was pregnant so when he was born I didn't have too much to lose and I did it easily. I was a happy wife, mom and career woman. At that time my Dad was quite sick and had to have a leg amputated due to type 2 diabeties. That was really hard on him and my Mom and then leaned on me a lot. I had to stretch myself even more which to me means - bad eating and no exercise. I became very stressed. Then he passed away and that compounded the situation. There were a few years of eating and drinking too much; the drinking to numb me and the difficult emotions and the eating to comfort me. I was up over 200 and I had never been there; the high 100's but never over that mark. Then I found out my husband of 19 years was cheating on me with my best friend - in a split second I lost my best friend and I thought my husband. We went to councilling and I thought - if I lost weight and looked more attractive to him he would be happy again. I lost about 40 pounds and looked fantastic but alas, he was a jerk and cheated again so out he went. Needless to say I was betrayed again, sad and very alone which meant I gained the 40 pounds back and more.

Mom got more frail as she had COPD and was very dependent on my sister and I. She passed away when I was 45. I ate more and drank more. The cycle of gain and loss continued a few times up to last year when again I was back over 200 and celebrated my 50th birthday. I was finally healing from the tragedies of my 40's when I went to work one day and was laid off after 31 years. Wow, how much can one person take. The say that the most stressful events a person has to deal with in life is the loss of health, loss of a loved one and loss of a job. Bam, bam, bam.

Last summer was a really hard time again but with the time off I realized I had to get my life back in order. The problem this time was I wanted to lose weight specifically for the reason of finding someone. I stayed on a program for about 3 months when I had to slow down my exercise due to my foot injury and I started eating and drinking too much again - I got careless and watched each pound come back on. It didn't happen overnight, I was very aware that I moved up one size, then another. I was the one back out buying XL clothes and size 16/18.

So here I am again. But this time does feel so different. There is a great post by Lyn regarding reasons that is a worth while read. I did a few times. Now I want to try to explain my present reasons:

1. I want to do this for me. I want to be healthier and even if I live alone I want to do it with lots of spring in my step.

2. I've set very challenging long term goals. Not the goal of fitting into a dress or losing weight for an event. I want to get down to my weight I was at in my 20's and maintain it.

3. I have a plan and I am being so much more open with my program and my progress - that's where the blog plays a role. I am so glad I stumbled on this. It is so therapeutic and is a commitment in itself.

4. I am much more educated on what I need to eat to be more healthy and what exercise feels the best. I am not on a points system or a program. I am cutting fat, and eating a heart healthy 1500 calorie limit each day. I watch my sodium, types of fats, carbs and protien. I am eating lots of fruits and veggies, taking flaxseed and the recommended vitamins. Oh yah and drinking lots of water and no wine.

I figure when I am successful, my self esteem will be so much stronger than before. I will be out of the house and more active that I am convinced my soulmate will find me. But like I said even if it's not meant to be, I will have gained so many more friends. I am choosing health and happiness...

Be happy too.

Challenges = commitment and focus.

2010-09-29T18:38:00.000-07:00

To me this means that challenges will help me with my commitment to my goals and maintaining focus.

I am already in the biggest loser challenge at my local gym and yesterday I committed to 2 new challenges – Steve’s Hot 100 (see link on this page) and Syl’s October challenge. My specific goals for these challenges are on a new page called My Challenges. I might have bitten off more than I can chew but I’m on a high and I wanted to take advantage of it. There is no way I am quitting the biggest loser and the other two challenges are in support of my overall dream so why not.

I got some news today that has good and bad points. I am a consultant and my business is built on the contracts I sign. I had one ready to be launched Oct 1 but found out today that it may be delayed until Nov 1. It will most likely be delayed at least 3 weeks due to red tape. This is a slight setback and it’s funny, in the past I would have immediately panic’d and reached for the nearest bag of chips and a bottle of red wine... then something sweet, you know the drill. The next day I would feel back about yesterday so I’d just sink deeper. But not this time. I have taken it in strike, so far, and am working out a plan to see how I can use it to my advantage. So I am SOL with respect to the income I need however I could use the time to polish my business model and website and my weight loss commitment. I have no time excuse for not doing my workouts. I can get in lots of walking, The Shred (I’ll talk about that abuse in a minute), sometime at the gym and kickboxing. I gotta be strong and keep things in perspective.

Now, the Shred, the dreaded Shred. As noted above I signed up for Syl’s October challenge so that’s the 30 day Shred. I tried it tonight and OMG that WAS a challenge. There were a few moves that I couldn’t finish at level 1. I found the jumping uncomfortable cause I felt like I was going to pee my pants. It was hard to get my voluptuous body off the ground gracefully and maintaining control of my bladder. I’ll be better prepared tomorrow. And the weights I choose were too heavy for the number of reps so I’ll go down a size in order to get level 1 under my belt. It is compact and a good workout so I’m in for more beatings.

My abs are killing me today from the kickboxing ab work and now my new friend Jillian but it’s a good pain, you know that pain that exists cause you know you did something good for yourself and your body is becoming stronger vs the other pain that comes from being too fat , inactive and having a body full of poison.

Be happy,

I got my ass kicked!

2010-09-28T19:32:00.000-07:00

My rant for today...

I came in second for last week's BL challenge out of 47 people. I missed the lead by .5% reduction in body weight. I wasn't disappointed but my competitive side has kicked in. I've increased my resolve to keep at the hard work and the payoff will show on the scale, the inches lost and the increased energy. This week will be difficult because... I have a weekend away with the girls at a friend's cottage. We usually do lots of eating, drinking, sitting around gabbing and laughing with very little exercise. Not sure how I'm going to make it through and not sabotage myself but I am thinking up a plan. I have the menu and am looking up the nutrition stats so I can be prepared with how much I can eat and of what. The harder part will be the drinkies (and I like my drinks). I am a wine lover and will have to spritz it up and only take a small amount. I know I won't be able to say no all weekend (if it was a night no problem) so again, I want to go into this with a limit, a plan and stick to it. I also will be out on walks more than normal (I have been pretty lazy in the past and passed on the walks). If anyone has any other suggestions please, please let me know!

As part of the BL club I got a great rate on the gym membership so I joined for 3 months. It includes the facilities and classes so I called tonight to inquire about the Kickboxing class - could a novice and someone who is in not great shape go and "fit in"?. I was told yes. So I went and got my ass kicked. I was able to keep up with most of the arm moves but I definitely felt embarrassed by my combinations of arm and leg segments. I stopped a few times as I looked in the mirror (lord I hate those BIG mirrors) and I looked like a fool with my flailing arms and randoms, out of sequence kicks. The good news is I stuck it out including the ab work and the bag work (which was tons of fun). I came home on a high and will be going back for the twice weekly class. The next class to look into is Boot Camp but I am less keen on this one.

One of my goals is to get back to running. At the moment I am doing a lot of medium paced walking both with my dog outside and on the dreadmill. I am being careful not to aggravate my plantar facia. I does feel tender tonight so I iced it after the class. Hopefully it won't be too painful tomorrow. I've gotta get it checked though because I am worried it's going to slow me down. One of the reasons I stopped my workouts in the spring was the intense pain working out and just getting around every day. It is definitely better but not gone away. I want it gone away.

Gotta get ready to get my 7 hours of sleep a night - not. I should be but am finding it really difficult. My 12 year old son's bus comes at 6:50 each day so we are up at 5:50. That's insane for any kid, and me considering I enjoy my late nights (thanks for that behavior Dad xo). But that's the way it is so I'm giving myself another week to adjust. Depending on which contract I am on next I may just drive him each day and bdrop him off since school starts at 8:20 (yah it's a 1 hour and 10 minute bus ride for what is a 20 minute drive by car). That all being said, I do know how important sleep is to losing weight and recharging the batteries so good night, be happy!

Hot Chick'in!

2010-09-27T07:55:00.000-07:00

The chicken was well done back then. This is a long time ago, 28 years to be exact. It is a snap of a very happy, healthy, fit and vibrant lady and it's me! A former shadow of who I am now. I'm getting my other pics together but this one is a favorite for me as a motivational view of what I was and can still be. In the mid teens something click with me to want to be thinner as I struggled being a chunky monkey up to that point. I could have done the fad diets or worse but I decided one night to get out on the road and pound the pavement. From that one thought I became an avid runner and the weight melted off. I became conscious of the food that I needed to be able to run more effectively believe it or not. So by the time I was engaged and went down the isle, I was the thinest and healthiest I have ever been.

So if that type of change can happen from the one thought that one moment, why not now? I feel motivated but I also realize it's only been.... a week (now stop laughing or snickering). It's up to me to prove it's for real and here to stay and at the moment, that's where my feet are firmly planted. The chick is in (the oven cooking, for probably a year)!

I read some blogs yesterday that really touched me as I could feel the struggle some people are going through after months and in some cases years of blogging and not seeing they're goals met. This scared me at first because I could see myself in them. I have been there too, made the big commitment, stayed "on track" whether it be exercise or diet or both only to fall off the wagon time and time again. My heart goes out to all those struggling and I wish I could message each one to give some motivational message or a big hug. I'll do this in a prayer. For me, I am in a great place with my feet walking into a new future, one step at a time and that's all I can do.

I found an inspirational message yesterday that I want to share as I can completely relate with it and I embrace it 100%...

"For everything you've missed, you have gained something else,
And for everything you gain, you lose something else,
It is about you're outlook on life. You can either regret or rejoice."

I've lost a lot of very important things that I cherished but I have also gained... it's about how you deal with the loss and open you're heart to accept new things. I believe I have dealt with the losses now and am ready to accept new things.

Today I am down the 3 pounds again (?), I don't really know what's going on with the scale or believe it but we'll just keep watching it for now. The more important measure is my "feel" and I feel thinner, lighter and more energized. Oh and inches - I took my measurements and I am down 6 inches from last week (and in the important areas like my flabby abs, bountiful bottom and thunder thighs).

Ta for today, be happy!

P.S. I've also been thinking about one of my Living List items - working with overweight kids. I haven't a plan yet but have added a few links of interest. Lots to think about here........

You call this "SUN"Day?

2010-09-26T09:57:00.000-07:00

Another dreary day in Ottawa. September has been the wettest and cloudiest month that I can remember. Would be great to have some sun for a few days to dry things up but on a brighter note the summer was fantastic! I hope we don't pay for it with a cold and snowy winter.

I just got home from my biggest loser weigh in and I am a little disappointed. I lost 5 lbs but was hoping for the 8-10 range. I knew it wasn't going to be as good as expected because....... no I didn't cheat but I did have to go weigh in at a different time of the day than last time so that means more water and food already in the body. But you know - I don't care (about the difference in the lbs lost). Did I say I lost 5 LBS!!!. In the end I am very happy with that and it fuels my determination. This is a good sign. Normally I would linger on the disappointment and hmmm, cheat? Maybe or do stupid things like cut back on needed food. But I won't do either.

This week I am commitment to my new ways and will add some exercise. As part of the BL club I joined the gym for 3 months and the owner said my son can join as well as long as he works out while I am there (no dah I'd leave a 12 year old on his own). So this week we are going to try kick boxing. We'll also get a trainer to show us all the machines and which ones are good for me and which ones are safe for J. I am looking forward to getting back to exercise but I am going to be mindful of not overdoing it, why? Because when I do this I exhaust myself overtime and then stop OR I injure myself and have to cut back or stop OR I end up exercising for 1 1/2 to 2 hours a day and overtime you just can't keep this up (well at least if you have a family and a job). Last time on the roller coaster of weight loss/gain I over did my exercise and got plantar facsia which is extremely painful and much to my dismay very hard to overcome. It still is an issue some days and I'm not sure how it's going to far when I start back up but I have to give it a try. I also have to be serious about the stretching that is needed, the heat/cold treatments, etc. My goal this week is to get the exercise going and lose another 5, this may be ambitious but I'm not settling for less as a goal.

A positive sign of change so far is the energy level I had yesterday for my son's birthday sleep over. Setting up, catering to, babysitting at times and cleaning up after a party and sleep over for 7 "youths" would normally be very draining for me. I would get it done but it would take me much longer and it would result in very sore legs and feet and a very cranky Mom/hostess. I not only managed to be an energetic, happy Mom and Hostess but I made homemade cookie dough so the guys could create their own cookie (instead of a cake, we had that already) and also made homemade muffins and banana bread for breakfast. I must have been on my feet for 12 hours solid. Great day overall and a very happy son! Oh and he friends said I was "cool".

So today is all about clean up and homework. Then I've got a healthy dinner planned and early bedtimes for all.

Till tomorrow, be happy.

A LIVING LIST?

2010-09-25T14:08:00.000-07:00

I added a few things to the blog, the most important one being "MY LIVING LIST". I didn't want to call it a bucket list as that has to much of a direct correlation to must do's before I die. My living list is a list of things I'd like to do or experience in my 50's.

The #1 item is to loss the excess weight I have been carrying for too long, reach my challenging goal weight AND to maintain that weight. Seems like a tall order but I can and I am going to do it. I have convinced myself I am not going to settle for less anymore. I'm not going to set a target weight that is above where I was when I was in my twenties. Why, because I don't want to settle to be above that weight - when I've dieted over the past 20 years I've always set my goal weight 20-25 lbs over what I weight "in my prime" believing that that was good enough and for a woman my aged, it was OK. Well that's changed. I can be the weight I was in my twenties. The only thing stopping me is my mind. I need to have the determination and conviction to get there. It will take a year but that's OK. I have the tools and knowledge and I know where to get any other information I need, there is no excuse for ignorance anymore. So I am on that road to physical success. I'll talk about the other list items another time.

I can list alot of same things other people do that would make them feel better with the excess weight off - more energy, being able to tie my shoes without panting, getting up and down off the floor easier, feeling more self confident, and so on. One of my blog links is to Jack Sh*t Gettin' Fit. I really enjoy this one as it is humorous, interesting and inspiring. One item on the site is call W.I.D.T.H which means Why I Do This Here. It has a compilation of visuals from many readers who list why they want to lose weight. Some are funny, some are sad and some are just like me. I'll post my in the near future (I need to figure alot out about how to use this web stuff first).

Today I'm down another 3. I had a few challenges yesterday in the "digestive" area but I chalk it up to the new foods I'm eating and the fish oil I'm taking. Other than that it was a great day. No real cravings and managed to eat well. I made a yummy chicken chili which was spicy and satisfying. I'll have that for a few days now since I made a sizable batch.

Now I am taking the few moments I can to get my blog post up while I watch over 7 12ish year old boys run around outside, play soccer and jump on the trampoline. It's great their outside for now to burn off some of the pop and chocolate they've been ingesting. Then they'll settle into video games and watch the Sens beat the Habs tonight!.

My weigh in is tomorrow in the Biggest Loser club. I hope I win for the week. It would be nice to be down 10 and have it confirmed on their scale. I adjusted mine at home after the 1st weigh in (it was 6 lbs above what mine read). Anyway, chow for now... funny how my salutation refers to eating? Cheers .... refers to drinking?

Be happy!

A SUNNY RAINY DAY

2010-09-24T06:37:00.000-07:00

Rainy day but I'm feeling great. One of the nice things about embarking on this journey is the initial change of losing excess water weight. I can see it in my face and joints. I had a very good day yesterday eating healthy food and had little cravings until 10PM - why is that? I was all cozy watching the Apprentice when I got this urge to eat. This urge formed into a need for a health bar (I purchased the Kashi bar as they are low in fat, sugars and sodium). I tried to get it out of my mind and drank a gallon of water but it persisted to so I had a bar. Actually I had two. I knew it would not hurt my tally for the day (yes I track my calorie, fat, sodium, carb and protein intake daily). The second one took me over a little so if it meant I lost a pound in 2.5 days instead of 2 I was OK with that. After I felt very satisfied with my decision and my craving. I wish I could have stopped at 1 or even a 1/2 as this would have been a positive sign of controlling my craving or urge but at this stage I couldn't. I know this will come too.

So I hopped on the scale this am after a great night's sleep and behold, I lost 5 pounds... Notably water but wooohooo anyway (for those of you not familiar with wooohooo it is native to Ottawa and the cheer for the Senators). It is just what I needed to propel me through the weekend and got to my biggest loser weigh in on Sunday. I have to go to the county fair (that's what you say in the US I think) not because I like sloshing around the mucky ground waiting for kids on the rides but I am the parent chaperon for the first 2 hours. Then I can come back and go for a long walk with my dog Kosmo if the weather permits. Tomorrow is a boys sleepover with 6 11 year olds. The just want to play soccer outside and then play video games which I'm OK with. I'll be chilling reading a book, watching TV or on the net (probably blog surfing!

So down 5 and 76 to go... Mind over fatter is going strong. Be happy!

Better late than Never

2010-09-23T06:20:00.000-07:00

Well this is a new step for me. I'm very new to blogging and have only previewed a few but I am a avid amateur writer and have lots of thoughts that I'd like to share (or at least get out there for whomever). I created this blog under the title of "mind over fatter" since I am, you guessed it, over weight. Probably obese but I hate that word. I have struggled with my weight my whole life. Like many, I have tried many different diets and have ridden the roller coaster of weight loss for the past 35 years (I am 51). There will be lots of time to look back and reflect, for the moment I want to talk about the here and now.

I am 5.5" and have 81 lbs to lose to get to my goal weight. I don't look this heavy as per many of my friends but boy do I feel it. I don't think it's the heaviest I have been but pretty darn close. As noted above, I am over 50 and I swore I would get my life back together to enjoy this next 10 years but I didn't reach this goal. I could list the many excuses I tell myself but in actual fact I wasn't ready to lose weight and keep it off. I did lose 30 lbs late last year but successfully managed to gain it all back plus another 5. So at the moment I am at the crest of the coaster.

This time though I feel different. I had a great summer. Just enough work to keep me busy and bring in the needed finances for the family but lots of play time mixed in. I took my first two week holiday in over a decade and had a fabulous time at a cottage - eating and drinking to be merry! I also managed to get some golfing in, landscaping completed, lots of outings with the family and finished a few books. I am over weight but surprizing not mad at myself. Normally I would be sitting here in September with lots of regret for the eating and drinking but not this time. I feel accepting of myself but with that acceptance a different level of determination to change my situation. I am happy but now know I can be more fulfilled. I'm thinking about the weight and see it more as a health concern versus the visual beauty I'd like to be.

So this time has to be different. I can't jump back on the Atkins band wagon, attend Weight Watchers, read another diet book or basically starve myself thinner or should I say healthier. But I do need support and guidance so I joined a local gym club and a "biggest loser" challenge. After looking into it I was intrigued and the cost was very reasonable so I joined on Sunday. So far this week I have done reasonably well. I ate a few not so healthy things on Tuesday when I was out with the girls but no regrets. This in itself is a change because in the past I would have either denied myself this simple pleasure or I would indulge and woken the next day with loads of regret and probably slipped back into my old, bad thinking.

This is where "mind over fatter" came from this morning. I have been doing some research and do believe that weight issues are related to how you think. I do believe that your mind has a massive impact on whether you are fat or thin; just as it does as to whether you are happy or sad. Seems simple but for me, I am taking more time to try and dig into my thoughts regarding my weight and why I am where I am at. I know I will make the commitment to exercise as I have in the past but my normal pattern would be to work out like a fiend, lose weight and shape up, add back the old bad foods and drinks, exercise for a while to keep at the same weight but then, start feeling sluggish and not in the mood to exercise so that tappers off. Then the weight creeps back on and I watch the lbs and clothes sizes increase...

This blog will be about me - my journey to a happier self. I want so much more for myself and my life and am excited about getter happier than I am at the present. The first step will be my "self", mind and body. I will add photos and be very with my progress. I'll do some more research on the better blogs I find and use them as examples of what I'd like to add. That's it for today, be happy!