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Sunday, November 21, 2010

I cried this morning; I cried tonight...

OMG, (oh my goodness), what a weekend.

For those of you following my blog, I have been participating in a biggest loser challenge at my local gym.  The act of signing up for this public display and commitment to losing weight and getting healthy was a catalyst for my journey.  I signed up a week after the challenge officially started but I didn't care.  I just wanted the challenge.

It was a great experience overall but what a weekend.  Let me tell you my story...

I have been doing well and as of two weeks ago, I found out I was in the lead of the challenge, this made me very happy indeed.  I have stuck to my plan of eating well and exercising and have loved the changes and benefits it has provided to me.  When I got the taste of being " a winner " I have to admit I was pumped.  I really didn't have many obstacles in my way except for a weekend away shopping.  I counted my calories and worked out but while I was away the intense execise suffered.  At the end of the second last week I didn't lose any weight which was strange.  I worked hard overall and saw the change in the clothes I was wearing but the scale was not budging.  I vowed this last week to push HARD.  This motivation and the encouraging words from my sister Ricki and Shane really gave me the added incentive to not give up.

I cut back on some calories and worked out twice as hard.  All was going well.  I lost 3 pounds in 5 days, which is what I wanted to see.  Then when I woke up yesterday I had lost 2 more, I was down 35 pounds in total, I was stoked!!!   I firmly believe that sleep along with monitoring calories and doing exercise is important so I made a point of going to bed at my normal time but sleeping in.  It worked!   I was so pumped I tried on my target jeans, the hippy ones in size 12 and ,,,, they fit!  I was on cloud nine all day.  That being said  I stuck to the plan yesterday.  I also had to plan for a jewelry party today so I was cleaning like a mad woman.  By the time I started my official workout last night I was pooped.  I did a biggest loser bootcamp session and the treadmill for 45 min (plus a 45 walk in the afternoon) and I was done, I was so tired I could barely move my legs.  I made a decision that even though my sister was here for the night, I wanted to get to bed for a good night sleep in anticipation for a great weigh in today.

I had a terrible sleep.  And when I woke up, I had gained 2 pounds!  WTF, what's with that, I was stunned!!!    I tried to pee more, I tried to poo,  I took the dog for a 40 minute walk to get the body functions moving, it didn't work.  I cried when I walked, I could not believe after all this work and coming so close I would not win.  I dried my tears and sucked it up.  I knew the reward was how I had changed but to some so close.

I  went in for the weigh in.  Then the next blow hit me; I was two pounds higher on the gym scale.  WTFF!   My scale and the gym scale have been on target the entire challenge.  I kept my head high and left the gym but on the drive home cried again.    After a lot of self talk, I got myself composed and focused on the weight lose overall and the health benefits.  When home I worked on the last preparation for the party and told my story to my son.  After a while he said, why don't I go and weigh myself again, maybe the scale was wrong?  I weighed myself at home and sure enough I was lower so after two hours of pondering this, I called the gym to ask if I could weigh in again.  They said that was fine. I didn't know really what to expect but I knew I needed to do this for myself.  I would be really pissed off if I lost for some % that was in the end measured by a pound.  I felt if I came in second because of some small number I would not forgive myself.  I drove to the gym and asked God for his guidance and support.

I went in and sure enough the scale was 2 pounds different from earlier!  The first weigh in was wrong, even the trainer didn't believe it.  That was the best for me, I was right, I was proud of myself for calling and going back.  It could have been really embarrassing but I had to be satisfied that I had done EVERYTHING I could.  I got home and got ready for the party, in my snazzy jeans and felt great.

Then to my surprize, I checked my email after the jewelry party and WOW, I won!!!  I WON...
I lost .2 % more than my gym buddy Sheila!  Only .2% but that could have worked either way.  That could have been me if I didn't listen to others and my gut.  I was so happy I cried.  What an emotional roller coaster.  I know some of you can't relate to this or maybe see my reaction as petty, but for me, it was a real goal to be #1 once in the challenge, for ME.  So it's done,  I am celebrating with a bowl of carrots and low fat dip.  On cloud nine.....

The morals of the story:

- don't give up
- never quit
- believe in yourself
- think positive

Be happy!

8 comments:

Shane G. said...

I am sooooo happy for you!!! I am doing my own little dance! I love it! Yeeeeeeaaaaaaah!

birchgirl said...

You cried, you laughed , you won! How fantastic, congratulations!

spunkysuzi said...

Congratulations!! I'm so proud of you :)

FatAngryBlog said...

Congratulations!!!!! :)

Lanie Painie said...

You're rockin it! you're takin control and making things happen. Yay you!

Beth at Obesity Strike said...

OMG! What a dramatic day! I'm so excited for you. What an accomplishment, just reading about all that exercise made me tired, you are totally tearing it up!

Congratulations. I'll raise my carrot stick to you this evening in celebration of your win. Very inspiring.

Farewell2Fat4Ever said...

Woo-hoo! Congratulations! Crying does a body good every once in a while. :)

fatgirlwearingthin said...

Oh my gosh, what a story! So glad you went back and weighed in again. I probably would have just sulked and given up. That's a good lesson for me and a big congratulations for you! You did it!!! YAY!!