Yesterday my blog was about positive and negative self talk - my angel and devil. I had great feedback, many thanks to you all. One message was from a newcomer which made me gulp, it was pretty deep for me. I found Janelle through a post from Michelle (many thanks) and went to her blog. I was immediately drawn to her profound thoughts and perspectives. The words she left me in her comment with were...
"fact: Life always moves FOWARD, never BACKWARDS. So, you can never be where you were before. It's impossible. You are HERE, NOW. All you have been through in your life up to this point is stored within you, but it does not have to define you. We can use those old lessons to learn and grow, but we cannot let them DEFINE us. This is a NEW place for you! Embrace, enjoy and celebrate!"
Wow.... take a moment and really savor this.
I can and hopefully have learned from my past and taken this knowledge to lay out a new future for myself. This definitely is a new and exciting place for me and the bounty of hope that I feel is immense. I am a different person. I acknowledge proudly that I am not on a weight loss journey, I am on a journey to become a healthy and vibrant woman. A key element of that journey is weight loss through healthy eating and exercise. I am not a defeated fat person. I am a fat person successfully changing her life. Even if the pounds come off slowly I will feel successful, proud and confident because I am doing something so different than what I would do in the past (binge eat, starve, drink, binge eat, starve and then feel guilt, shame, loneliness, embarrassed - well you know all the words I am thinking of).
So what defines success. We all set goals, some very short term, some of use have different milestones and some have long term goals. I have set my interim and long term goal (they are on "my page"). These goals are defined by weight, measurements, accomplishments. I am building on these goals constantly based on what I am learning from other bloggers (the wealth of knowledge, feeling and commitment I feel from others to their goals is inspiring).
Again Janelle, so many thanks to you. I am sending you a big hug!
That was yesterday and the focus of my thoughts this morning. Today it was pretty miserable outside (seems like a lot of bloggers had rain to contend with) but there was a break in the rain so I decided to take my doggie Kosmo out for a walk (I am hooked on walking with him). I knew we couldn't go far cause the sky looked menacing and the road was so muddy. I decided not to take my ipod cause, it was going to be a quicky. However, the rain stayed away long enough for us to walk about 2 miles and I had not music so I let my mind wander.
I have been blessed to own a home in the country on 10 acres so when I go walking, there is not too much traffic and there is lots of nature around us. One of these days I'll take my camera but I am not as handy with it as some of you. I have spent many hours walking and thinking. I thought about what signs of change I would like to see in myself. So I made a list. I am already seeing some of these take shape but am not in a position to cross them off yet...
- get rid of the double chin
- get rid of the chubby face
- be able to take my gold rings off easily
- feel my rib bones standing, not just lying in bed
- be able to bend over effortlessly, really bend over!
- get back to running and run with ease
- get into my target clothes at each milestone (1st one size 12 jeans)
- wear size 10 jeans
- wear size 8 jeans
- get rid of all my fat clothes once and for all (not hide them in the garage and then have to go back into them)
- wear a black evening dress (the slinky kind)
- see actual definition in my arms
- conquer the B:B ratio (boob to belly 3:1 vs 1:3)
- get rid of the butt jiggle
- get rid of the back boobs
- be able to sit and bend over without being stopped by my belly
- be able to show my face in photos wantingly
- see my collarbone!
- shop for any type of clothes I want in any store
- feel no pain in my knees and lower back
Have you thought about any of these changes? What other changes are you looking for?
Have a great night, be happy...
P.S. here is a picture of my doggie, he is the cutest (and boy is he getting in good shape too)